The Devil Series
by Lone Wolfette
Summary: Each chapter is a self contained story. Summary: Ralph, along with Pam & Bill, face a new nemesis. And this one's playing for keeps. Two new chapters added.
1. The Devil & Ralph Hinkley

**The Devil & Ralph Hinkley**

by Lauren

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A cloud of dust blew across the ground as the debris settled from the explosion. Eerie silence followed the loud noise.

And thankfully, the government issue Dodge Diplomat stood up to the test of the explosion and debris. Both Bill and Pam had ducked for cover behind the beige car. Bill promptly sat up and looked over the hood of the car, while Pam remained low, but looked up.

"Do you see him?" Pam asked, worry evident on her face.

Bill scanned the area, shaking his head. "Not yet, Counselor. Sheesh, where'd he go to?" He sighed and stood. "I'll go find him. You stay here, got it? It might not be completely safe yet."

"For once, Bill, yes, I'm staying right here," Pam replied.

Bill went around the car, moving carefully. He really hadn't expected the entire building to blow, but, thanks to the gas leak caused by a careless thug, it was only a matter of time. He just hoped that Ralph hadn't been _inside_ the building when it blew.

Bill walked carefully over the rubble and headed around to his right. He figured he'd circle around, as it would be the easiest. He made it part way around when he finally glimpsed the color red. As he made his way over, he could see the blond haired man, sit up, shake his head and then hold it.

"Kid, you okay?" Bill called out.

Ralph winced, Bill's voice a little too loud, even over the current ringing in his ears from the explosion. "I feel wonderful," he answered, sarcastically. Bill helped him stand and held on as Ralph swayed a bit. "Bill, I just practically had a building land on me. I now know how the wicked witch of the west felt."

"But you gotta admit, kid, you came out better than she did."

Ralph gave him a dull glare. "Great. Bill, listen, my head hurts and I think your back-up is going to be here any minute. So, I just want to go home."

"Fine. Besides, I left the Counselor back by the car," Bill said, and then, after wrapping Ralph's right arm around the back of his neck and holding onto it, began to help Ralph back toward the car.

He noticed how the younger man kept swaying and nearly stumbled a few times. "Kid, you sure you feel all right?" he asked. Ralph nodded, but he stumbled again. Deciding it would be easier on the two of them if Ralph rested, Bill stooped over and lifted the man into a fire man's carry.

Ralph groaned when Bill's shoulder hit his gut as the agent distributed Ralph's weight across both shoulders. "Sorry kid, but you're not doing

either of us any good with your Scarecrow impression."

"Funny, Bill. C'mon on, let's get going," mumbled Ralph. Bill only shook his head and started walking forward again.

As the car came into view, Bill could see Pam move around it and come towards them. "Ralph!" Pam exclaimed, moving toward the two.

Ralph glanced up and gave her a faint grin, but didn't say anything as his eyes closed and his head lowered. Feeling Ralph move slightly, Bill readjusted his grip on the man's arm and leg so Ralph wouldn't try to get off. He didn't want to risk the kid fainting the moment he got down and stood up.

"What happened to him?" Pam asked, glaring at Bill.

"Little building fell on him. Nothing major," he replied, audibly waving it off.

Noticing that Ralph hadn't moved again since they arrived, Pam moved over to Bill's side to Ralph's head and opened one of his eyes to check. "Nothing major? Ralph is out cold, Bill. We need to get him out of here."

Bill frowned, realizing that when he felt Ralph relax, he must have actually passed out. He steeled his grip on Ralph with one hand and quickly used the other to get the keys to the sedan out of his pocket. "Here, Counselor, take the car and take the kid back to your place. I'll talk to back-up once it gets here."

Pam frowned, but agreed, "Alright. For your sake, though, Ralph better be okay."

They got Ralph into the car and fastened him in, his head lolling to one side, as sirens were faintly heard in the background.

Pam got in behind the wheel and started the car, then pulled out, leaving the rubble, and Bill, behind. Bill moved in the opposite direction to meet with the crew on its way.

Near the center of the rubble, very close to where Bill had found Ralph, dark smoke rose up from the ground, but there was no fire. After a few moments, the smoke dissipated completely.

--------------------------

"Kid? Counselor?" Bill said, coming through the door of the Hinkleys' house about a half an hour later.

Ralph sat forward on the couch, sliding the ice pack away from the side of his head as Bill rounded the corner. He still wore the suit, but had a blue robe over it. "Pam went to get me some aspirin." He gave a faint grin. "We realized it must've been used up the last time you got me in trouble in a scenario."

"Can't help that, kid. Anyway, those garbanzos got caught and hauled off to be questioned."

"That's good."

As Bill continued to talk about the men they'd just apprehended, Ralph noticed just the faintest of black smoke suddenly appear behind Bill. It grew longer, until it reached the floor, standing just shorter than Bill. Ralph's eyes widened at the sight.

Bill paused, finally realizing Ralph wasn't paying attention. "Kid? What's wrong?" He gave a slight grin. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

Ralph pointed in Bill's direction. "Behind you!"

Bill turned... then turned back to Ralph. "I don't see anything, Ralph. Is this a game, or did you get hit harder in the head than we thought?"

Ralph blinked. He could still see the smoke plain as day. "Don't you see that black smoke?"

Bill continued to grin. "Okay, kid. You need to get some rest." He pushed Ralph back to lean against the back of the couch. "You got hit in the head and you're seeing things. Just stay put. You said the Counselor should be back soon with something to make your head feel better."

Ralph made a face at the patronizing tone in Bill's voice. Then he sighed, realizing Bill had to be right. "Okay. That's got to be it." He glanced over again and the smoke was gone.

Pam came in, a small brown paper bag in hand. She gave Bill a forced smile. "Why, Bill, what brings you here?"

Bill let out an aggravated sound. "Alright, I get it. I need to go, anyway. Got some paperwork to fill out on those goons." He stopped next to Pam. "Keep an eye on the kid, Counselor. I think he's seeing things because of the knock on the head." With that, he left.

Pam sat down next to him. "Ralph, what did he mean by that?"

"Well," Ralph began, looking across the living room again. The smoke was back. "Uhh... do you see anything odd in here?"

Pam glanced around the room, then turned back to him. "No, I don't. Do you?"

Ralph stared at the smoke. The cloud looked like it was beginning to take shape, which was starting to look like a human form. He couldn't stop his eyes from widening, though he didn't tell Pam to look. Instead, she noticed the change of his facial expression and looked where she thought he was looking, then turned back, frowning.

"Ralph, I think Bill's right. You may even have a concussion for all we know. Maybe you should see a doctor..."

At the mention of a doctor, the smoke form vanished. He turned to face Pam. "Yeah, maybe I should..."

"Then you'd better change, hon, and I'll think up an explanation to give to the doctor."

"Right," Ralph agreed, then got up and headed for the bedroom.

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That afternoon, Ralph was given a clean bill of health from the doctor. There was no concussion, just a small bump on the head.

Ralph remained quiet on the way back home. If he didn't have a concussion, then why was he seeing things that neither Bill nor Pam could see... and that's when it hit him. It had to be caused by the suit.

They got back to the house and went inside, Ralph headed for the bedroom.

"Ralph, maybe you should lay down for a little while. Since you don't have a concussion, a nap might do you some good," Pam called out to him.

Ralph came out a few moments later back in the suit.

Pam folded her arms. "Ralph, what are you doing?"

"Pamela, I think the suit has something to do with what I've been seeing," he said.

"That's possible. But, Ralph, I still think you should lay down and try to get a nap. Besides, I need to get caught up on some work. They were expecting me back at the office almost thirty minutes ago."

Ralph nodded. "You go, Pam, I'll be fine."

"Are you sure, Ralph?"

"Positive." He nodded, then gave her a kiss. He smiled, pulling away. "Go on. I think I'll watch a little tv first, then get some rest."

"Okay, hon."

As soon as Pam left, Ralph spun around and looked at the same spot where he saw the smoke earlier. He stared, but it didn't return. He ran a hand through his hair, thinking. He went over to the couch and sat, after turning the tv on.

As he watched, Ralph began to nod off. As he was fading, the black smoke reappeared, once again taking form. Ralph fell asleep just before a woman with short, red hair and dark clothes walked over to him.

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It was sometime later when Ralph woke up. He blinked, his eyes adjusting to the darkness. _Odd_, he thought, _if it's night time, that explains the darkness, but not why the tv is off..._ He sat up and looked around.

Ralph sucked in a breath. His eyes finally able to see through the darkness, he found that he was in a very plain room, containing just the cot he woke up on.

"I don't think you're in Kansas anymore, Ralph," he tried joking to himself. He ran a hand through his hair and stood. Squinting, he thought he could make out a door frame just to his left and moved toward it. He felt for the doorknob and turned, then gave it a tug. The wooden door creaked open and a faint light fell over him from the hall outside.

Ralph stepped out into the hallway, closing the door after him. He couldn't figure out what was going on, though he wondered what role the suit was playing in this and how much was just his head injury. He continued down the hall. He could hear a faint sound, but couldn't make out what it was.

The hallway was dark and, even with the faint light, it was foreboding. There were many doors lining the walls and all were closed. The odd thing was that the hallway didn't seem to end. Ralph kept walking, but didn't seem to be nearing the end.

Ralph looked down at the floor, remembering a fun house he'd been suckered into once where one of the hallways had a conveyor belt for a floor. The floor was plain wood, just like everything else.

_Something very strange is going on..._ Ralph thought.

A woman's laugh cut through the quiet of the hall, stopping Ralph in his trek. He turned around and around again, looking for where the sound came from. He found he was still alone in the hall and couldn't see anyone or anything down either end of the hall.

"If this is the suit's idea of a nightmare, it isn't funny..." Ralph muttered. He slowly began walking again. After a few steps, he heard a creak and froze. There was another creak, then what sounded like gears turning.

Before Ralph knew what happened, the floor dropped out from under him and he began sliding down a corkscrew tunnel. He tried in vain to stop himself from sliding, but there were no grips to be found on the tunnel slide. He also realized he was screaming the entire way, his voice sounding foreign to him in the small, enclosed area.

After what seemed like several miles, Ralph finally reached an opening at the bottom, where his feet struck, causing him to turn over and tumble several revolutions before coming to a stop face-down. He groaned and lifted his head. He pushed up on his arms slightly to get a better look around. Again, the room was wooden, though the decor reminded Ralph of a king's throne room.

"What the hell...?"

"Precisely, my dear."

Ralph quickly turned over to look behind him, the direction the voice came from. He was somewhat surprised to actually find a black velvet throne which was occupied by a woman in a black dress with short red hair and dark make-up.

"Please stand." The woman lifted her right hand and as she did, Ralph stood.

Ralph looked down at himself, then back at the woman. "How did you do that?"

"It is my power," the woman answered. "I wanted you to stand, and stand is what you did."

"But _I_ didn't want to!" Ralph blurted out.

"You amuse me," the woman commented, but did not smile and actually did not look amused at all. "You also interest me... Ralph Hinkley."

Ralph's eyes widened. "How do you know my name?"

"I know many things."

"Okay... then how did I get here?"

"I brought you here."

Ralph ran a hand through his hair again. "Where _is_ here, anyway?"

"My dear, you already know. You said so upon entering this room."

It didn't take long for Ralph to get the answer. His mouth dropped open and he looked like he'd been punched in the stomach. He closed his mouth and swallowed hard, his throat feeling dry suddenly. "I'm... I'm in _Hell_?" His fists clenched. "I'm _dead_!"

Now, the woman smiled. "No, my dear, you are not dead. Far from it, as a matter of fact."

Ralph shook his head. "I don't believe _any_ of this!" He paused and gave a nervous chuckle. "I'll bet you're the devil, right?"

"Desdemona, at your service. Though most call me Mona."

He blinked. Either this woman was a complete nut or... Ralph could feel the blood drain from his face. How did he get _into_ this predicament? "Listen, Mona, you've already practically scared me to death and your... house... is alot of fun, but... why am I here?"

"As I said, you interest me."

Ralph ran a hand over his face this time. "I _interest_ you? What, exactly, do you mean by that?"

Mona looked him directly in the eyes. "What do you think I mean by that?"

Suddenly, Ralph felt light-headed. Any minute, he'd wake up from this nightmare, still on the couch in his living room. Pam would be home and he could go to bed with her and...

A sudden force drove Ralph down onto his knees. He watched Mona stand from her throne. She started toward him and didn't stop until she was right in front of him.

Mona bent down and cupped his chin. "_Very_ interesting, indeed."

Ralph couldn't speak. He couldn't make his mouth work. About a million thoughts ran through his head, most were fearful. He was scared and the way she seemed to look _through_ his eyes didn't help one bit.

Mona moved her hand from his chin and brushed her thumb against one cheek. Ralph closed his eyes, finally, finding it was the only thing he could seemingly do at the moment. He felt her hand run through his curls, then down the side of his neck, over his shoulder and down his left arm to the elbow where it stopped.

Out of fear, Ralph's breathing hitched. _What's going on?_ he screamed in thought. He felt her hand leave his elbow and trail across his chest, then back again, where it stopped right over his heart.

Ralph's eyes snapped open and he gave Mona a shove, knocking her down. He looked down and found a small, black spot on the tunic of the suit, right over his heart.

Mona sat up, a slight, proud smirk crossing her deep red lips. She said nothing, stood and turned, headed back to her throne. She took up her seat once more. She raised her right hand, making Ralph stand. She lowered the same hand, pausing a moment, before snapping the fingers on her left hand. Two large men appeared, one on each side of the throne, both dressed completely in black.

"Take him to the room," she said.

The men nodded and went to Ralph, who stood unable to move. He could do nothing as he watched one put his arms under his own and clasp his hands over the front of his chest and the other pick up his feet. The men carried Ralph to the door, which opened on its own. They walked silently down the hallway. Ralph could do nothing but look at the dreary hallway.

They reached a closed door, which the man who held Ralph's feet opened and they carried him inside.

This room was a bit brighter than the hall, but still not fully lit up. The two men set Ralph down on a bed dressed with a black sheet set. The men left, closing the door after them. Once gone, Ralph was able to move again. Still lying on the bed, he lifted his head and looked around the room. It looked like a normal bedroom, but the implications of his situation caused him to drop his head back down onto the mattress and stare up at the ceiling... and found himself looking back down at him, thanks to a mirror on the ceiling.

Ralph made a choked sound. "This _can't_ be happening!" He closed his eyes and hoped when he opened them again, he'd be home again.

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Pam returned home from the law firm that evening to find Ralph sprawled out on the couch. She gave a small smile and went to turn the tv off. She turned and went over to him. She lightly brushed a few curls from his forehead, and her smile fell. His skin felt cool, a little too cool.

Pam knelt down next to him and pressed her palm to his forehead. She gasped at the chill. She then pressed the back of her hand to his right cheek and felt the same coolness. She gave him a once over and noticed a mark on the tunic of the suit. Pam leaned over him a little, finding the mark was a small black spot, right over his heart. She touched the spot lightly and found that it was warm. She moved her hand to the other side of his chest, which felt cool.

Pam got up quickly, went for the phone, and dialed a familiar number. "Bill Maxwell, please. It's an emergency."

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Ralph opened his eyes and found his reflection still looking down at him. There was something strange, though. He couldn't quite figure out what the feeling was, but he tentatively moved his right arm and put his hand over his heart. A jolt of warmth washed over him and was quickly followed by coolness, making him shiver.

He got up and decided to look around the room. He found the bureau covered with necessities intended for men, cologne and such. He pulled a drawer out and found pants. Another held shirts. He bypassed the bottom one, opting to try the other door in the room.

Ralph sighed when he realized he'd just found the bathroom. He turned away and looked over the bedroom again. He was about to go over to the closet when a knock came at the door. He turned to stare at it, but didn't move nor did he respond to the knock. He watched as the knob turned and the door opened.

Mona stood in the doorway. "I hope you had a chance to rest. You may need it."

Ralph blinked, shaking himself. "Listen, devil lady, I've had just about enough of this game." He walked over to her, finding that she was the same height. "Whatever twisted game you have in mind for me--"

Mona interrupted by running her thumb over Ralph's throat. His mouth moved a few more times, but no sound came out. He tried speaking again and still found no voice.

He mouthed, _What did you do?_

"I took your voice away. Seems I always have to do that to your kind," she responded.

Ralph's eyes widened. Again, he opened his mouth and found no voice. A furious look crossed his face and he swung a fist, aiming for Mona's jaw. Even though his aim was perfect, his fist missed her jaw and he spun around, allowing her to wrap her arms around his arms and chest, then clasping her hands over his chest.

Mona tilted her head, so her mouth was directly next to his right ear. "Naughty. It would seem you need a little discipline."

Ralph struggled, trying to get out of her grip, but even with the suit, he couldn't break her hold. His mind was whirling around ideas of what _she_ had in mind.

Mona pressed two fingers to his temple on the right side and rubbed. Ralph's struggle began to slow and he began to slump. His struggle finally ceased and she let go of him. Ralph fell forward onto his hands and knees, silently gasping for breath.

"You're doing better already, my dear," Mona said. "Now, I have a little... _other_ business to attend to. While I'm gone, if you behave, I'll reward you. Perhaps I'll give you your voice back." She watched as Ralph turned his head to look at her and she smirked. She turned and left the room, shutting the door after her.

Ralph turned his head back toward the floor and gave it a shake, then pulled himself back up on his knees, using the bed for leverage. He noticed how just that little bit of movement seemed to have worn him out. Ralph knew she did something to him when she rubbed his head. Subconsciously, his right hand went to his temple and rubbed at it, as though he had a small itch.

He tried to figure out what else felt different, but he couldn't gather his thoughts together. Ralph just felt confused.

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"I don't know what to tell you, Counselor," Bill said, checking Ralph's eyes and finding only the whites. "The kid's still got a good heartbeat, his breathing's fine, but he's out like a light, and feels the temperature of an ice cube in January."

"I think we should take him to the hospital. They'll know what's wrong," Pam said.

"Counselor, we were already there and they gave Ralph a clean bill of health. We take him back and they're gonna wonder what we did to him." Bill shook his head. "No way. We'll find a heat pack and some blankets and tuck the kid in nicely and wait for him to wake up."

"I don't like this, Bill."

"Never said I liked this either."

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Ralph was finally able to pull himself completely onto the bed. He tugged at the collar of the cape and pulled it off, dropping it on the floor. He caught his reflection in the mirror across the room. He stared at the mirror as he slowly got up and made his way over.

He noticed how his eyes looked different. The bright blue was replaced by a darker shade and now looked dull.

_What the...?_ Ralph gave a silent sigh, remembering he still couldn't speak. He had to get out of this place... where ever he really was. He turned from the mirror and headed for the door. He tried the knob and found that the door was unlocked. He gave the door a tug and let it creak open, while he retrieved his cape. Tossing the discarded cape over his shoulder, he made his way out of the room.

Ralph looked one way, then the other. The left end of the hallway ended in a corner, taking a right turn. The right end of the hall was a set of stairs. He didn't remember being carried down any stairs, so he decided to try that direction first. Keeping a tight hold on the railing leading up, he ascended the flight of stairs, stopping occasionally to regain his equilibrium by giving his head a shake.

Ralph was just near the top when he heard a loud clang and the stairs suddenly flattened out, causing him to slide all the way back down. He came to a stop against one wall and looked up. The stairs were back to normal.

"You do not give up easily, do you?"

His head turned to find Mona standing in the doorway across the hall from him. He made a face at her.

"Then I suppose I will just have to try another method."

Ralph's eyes widened as black smoke began to surround and overcome him. Soon, he was completely enveloped in the smoke. When it cleared, Ralph was gone. In his place, sat a cocker spaniel with curly, blond fur and a black with red trim collar. The dog looked up and tried to whimper, but no sound came.

Mona knelt and picked up the dog, scratching behind its ears. The spaniel looked on, its dark blue eyes watching her. "I am quite sorry, my dear Ralph, but you forced me to do this. I cannot have my guest trying to leave, now can I?" She headed for the stairs, the dog still in her arms.

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Pam returned to the living room, the box of Milkbones under her arm and one treat in her hand. She sat in the chair closest to the couch and munched on the treat, deep in thought.

The flush of a toilet resounded from the bathroom. The door opened and Bill came out, then walked toward Pam.

"Counselor, I always knew you had good taste."

"Huh?" Pam glanced up at him, then at the box of dog treats. "Oh, I, uh..." She frowned. "It was strange. I just, all of a sudden, had a craving for these things. And they're disgusting! I don't know how you eat these things, Bill!" She shoved the box at him.

Bill accepted the box, but set it on the coffee table. "You're worried about the kid."

"Yes, very much."

"Me, too, Counselor." Bill picked up the box again, offering her a biscuit. She took one and both started munching.

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The room held many wire cages full of different animals. The spaniel sat on the floor, a leash attached to his collar, holding him to the wall. He looked around, taking note of all the animals, wondering how many of them weren't really animals, just like him...

Mona came back into the room, having left for a few minutes for "preparation," or so she said. She walked over, the spaniel watching her with a fixed gaze. She gave a slight grin. "Anxious, my dear?"

The dog gave his head a shake, then stuck his tongue out.

"Naughty boy." Mona tugged on the leash. "Come along, I wish to show you something." She tugged on the leash again, pulling the spaniel along with her.

They left the room with the animals and crossed the hall to another room, which was completely bare. Mona detached the leash and pushed the dog into the room and closed the door quickly, locking it.

Inside the room, the spaniel looked around, finding just how empty the room was. He sat down near the middle of the room and, after a few moments, a black cloud of smoke enveloped him again. When it dissipated, Ralph was back to normal. He looked himself over and smiled. Unfortunately, when he tried to cheer himself, he found his voice was still gone. He made a face and stood up. Folding his arms, he looked around the room again. He couldn't find where the door was anymore.

Ralph moved to one wall and ran his hands over it. The entire thing was flush. He couldn't even find a crack, let alone a doorway. He turned away from the wall and paused. He could swear he felt the room get colder. He looked toward the ceiling, but didn't find any vents, then he looked down and found the floor was completely metal. Curious, Ralph bent down and placed a hand flat on the floor and pulled it away quickly, clenching it. The floor was getting colder and, in turn, made the whole room grow colder. He wrapped his arms over his chest, trying to keep warm. He was really wishing that the suit worked in this place.

Ralph began pacing, doing his best to keep warm. His teeth were beginning to chatter and he could see his breath when he breathed out. After several laps around the room, he began to slow, the cold really getting to him, but he knew he had to keep going...

--------------------------

Pam opened her eyes, waking from a restless sleep, still sitting in the chair. It was fairly dark in the living room, the only light coming from the small lamp next to the couch. Rubbing at her eyes and squinting from the offending light, she heard an odd sound. She looked toward the couch, where she thought the sound was coming from, and she could've sworn Ralph's teeth were chattering.

Pam got up and moved over to him and found she was right. She quickly grabbed the afghan off the back of the couch and draped it over him, tucking in both sides. She noticed the chattering stopped and sighed.

A sudden snore made her jump. Pam spun on her heels and glared at the still sleeping Bill, who'd taken up residence on the floor at the other end of the couch, his feet propped up on the seat of the other chair. She didn't question the strange position and decided to just feel better that she atleast seemed to have warmed up Ralph a little bit.

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Ralph had stopped pacing, suddenly feeling warmer. He gave a silent sigh of relief and decided to check out one of the other walls. Again, he ran his hands over it and couldn't find any cracks. He was really becoming annoyed by the whole situation he was in. He backed away from the wall... and felt the chill dissipate. Matter of fact, it felt kind of like the heat had been turned on. He waved a hand, trying to get some cooler air on his face, but it wasn't working very well. He dragged the back of one hand over his forehead and found it covered in sweat already.

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Pam readjusted Ralph's pillow, trying to make him as comfortable as she could. The back of one hand brushed his skin and she gasped at the warmth. Now he felt like he had a fever! She quickly pulled the afghan off of him and tossed it over the back of the couch again. Pam noticed beads of sweat forming on Ralph's forehead. She quickly stepped over the still sleeping Bill, headed for the kitchen. She returned moments later with ice cubes wrapped in a wash cloth, tied with a small piece of string. Pam placed the makeshift cool pack on Ralph's forehead.

She sighed, dropping back down in her chair. _What is going on!_ she asked herself.

--------------------------

Sweltering, Ralph had removed the tunic of the suit--which, unfortunately, allowed him to see that the black mark had not only been on the tunic, but was on his skin, also--and was currently seated on the floor, against a wall, using the cape to fan himself. There had to be something he could do...

His eyes scanned the room again and stopped at one of the corners. He saw a small puddle of water. Ralph got up and went over only to find the puddle had already doubled in size. His eyes widened as more water came into the room, but he had no idea from where, as there were no cracks or holes of any sort anywhere in the room.

The water was pouring into the room now. It was a couple inches deep and still coming. Ralph was really beginning to panic now. He couldn't help but think how all of this seemed like one big nightmare that he just couldn't wake up from. Out of desperation, he pinched his arm and would've yelped if he had his voice.

Ralph looked down and found the water up to his knees. Frantically, he checked the walls again, looking for anything that might help him get out. The water was gushing in and up to his waist now. Ralph pounded on the walls, any chance of remaining calm now out the proverbial window.

And that's when Ralph figured out _why_ this was happening. Mona wanted to break him... break his will, his spirit. Even with no voice, he yelled out, _NO!_

The water finally stopped, just below his lower lip. Ralph had his head tilted back, keeping his mouth and nose above the water. After several moments, he noticed the black smoke again, this time filling the rest of the room. Everything around him was turning black. Eventually, Ralph's entire vision turned black.

The next thing Ralph knew, he was out of the water, back in the suit's tunic and cape, but still in the pitch black. He moved to put his arms out and they hit something solid before being fully stretched out. He felt around, finding he was about eight inches from a wall... and he was standing directly against another wall. He reached to his right and hit a wall. He reached to his left and hit another wall.

Ralph pounded his fists against the wall in front of him. He paused, panting, finding it very stuffy in the cramped, small surroundings. Again, he pulled off the cape, then the tunic and began pounding again. After a few shots, he found he'd made some cracks in the wall.

_What the...?_ He looked at his fists, then tried it again. Sure enough, the cracks had gotten larger. His eyes widened, realizing what was happening. A grin spread across his face as he continued banging his fists into the wall.

After much pounding, the wall finally gave way and Ralph tumbled out of the small enclosure, landing face-down on the floor. He shook his head and looked up, finding he was back in the throne room.

Mona stood from her throne, an angry look on her face.

Ralph pushed himself up and stood, picking up the cape and tunic. He made his way toward the devil woman as she took a few steps toward him. The black smoke appeared again, but Ralph was able to blow it away.

"How dare you? Do you not realize what could have been? We could have been a team! I was merely testing you to see if you were suitable--" She got her right hand up half way when Ralph reached out and grabbed her wrist.

_Not a chance, lady. Now, give me my damn voice back!_ He tightened his grip slightly, causing her to wince.

"Fine," Mona agreed through clenched teeth. She reached out with her left hand and ran her thumb over his throat.

"I knew you could be cooperative," Ralph said, smirking, finally having his voice back. "Now, I'm going to suggest that you send me home before I do something to you that would make Jack The Ripper turn his head away."

Mona narrowed her eyes. The black smoke appeared again, surrounding Ralph until it covered him completely.

--------------------------

The sun was just beginning to filter through the windows in the living room when Ralph opened his eyes. He squinted against the light, but quickly realized he was staring up at the ceiling of his living room. He turned his head and found Pam asleep on one of the chairs. Then he caught a slight movement by the other chair and saw Bill's feet slide off the other chair. Despite the movement, he continued to snore.

Ralph gave a slight grin and turned his gaze back to his wife. "Pam?" He realized his voice was a bit scratchy, cleared his throat and tried again, only able to make his voice a little louder, "Pam!"

Her eyes opened and she blinked, then it dawned on her. "Ralph!" Pam quickly slid off the chair and knelt next to the couch. "Oh, hon, are you okay? What happened?"

"Well, if we can wake Sleeping Ugly over there, I'll tell both of you," he replied, smirking just a bit.

--------------------------

Mona drummed her fingers on the arm of her throne, watching on a monitor, Ralph telling Pam and Bill of his "adventure" and finding that the black spot on the tunic and his chest were gone. All three agreed that what Ralph described was no more than a nightmare brought on from the explosion of the building and him actually being inside when it occurred and ducking away from the fireball that had shot toward him.

"A nightmare? I have driven men and women mad with lesser tortures than Hinkley faced." She gave a slight smirk. "It would seem as though I will just have to try again. He will have a tell tale sign of when I decide to try again. He has so much potential... and that red suit of his. Yes."

The monitor went to black as Mona leaned back. "Yes..."

**End**


	2. Amazing Odyssey

**Amazing Odyssey**

by Lauren

--------------------------

"I'm always getting junk mail," Ralph commented, tearing up an envelope. He leaned forward, elbows resting on the dining room table, and looked into the kitchen the best he could. "Pam? How's dinner coming?"

"Few more minutes, hon," came her reply.

Ralph nodded and opened the next envelope. He pulled a card out and read it. "The Green Thumb Club cordially invites you to the unveiling of its hedge maze, daring people of any age to make it from start to finish." He paused, then said loudly, "Honey, have you heard of the Green Thumb Club?"

Pam stopped in the kitchen doorway. "No, I haven't. It must be new."

"I wonder how they got my name..."

Pam grinned. "I told you, Ralph, you need to stop subscribing to comic books." She winked at him.

"Funny, Pamela. I'm serious. It's... odd."

Pam shrugged. "In that case, they did probably get it from something else. Probably the newspaper. They seem to be notorious for giving out information." She disappeared back into the kitchen.

"Makes sense..." Ralph turned the card over and found the back blank. Turning it back over, he read it again. "I guess it couldn't hurt. It's coming up quickly, though. I'm surprised they waited so long to get the invitations out, since it's next weekend. Atleast it doesn't require an R.S.V.P."

--------------------------

A week from that Saturday, Ralph fixed his bow tie in the mirror in the bathroom, while Bill stood in the doorway, munching on Milkbone treats.

"Must be a real swank affair, since you're doing an impression of a penguin and all. Why ain't I going?" Bill said.

_Because you just answered your own question_, Ralph thought. "It's one guest only, Bill, and I'm not going to invite you over Pam. Jammies or no, I'd be seeing next Tuesday before everyone else."

"Ehhh, I didn't wanna be around a buncha snobs anyway. Too much drivel," Bill commented.

The bedroom door opened and Pam came out, dressed in a red gown. Bill, still standing in the bathroom doorway, gawked. "Wow, Counselor, you sure do clean up real nice."

"Thank you, Bill... I think," Pam said, smirking a little.

Ralph tugged at his tie again, frowning at it slightly. "Bill, stop hitting on my wife." He quirked an eyebrow into the mirror and met Bill's gaze. "I am wearing the suit, by the way."

"Oh, um, right." Bill cleared his throat as Ralph chuckled and turned away from the mirror. Bill moved to let him out of the bathroom. "Well, you know, I was just, uh..."

"Geez, Bill, I was only teasing you. What's the matter with you, anyway? You've been a bit...irritable lately," Ralph said, buttoning his tux coat.

"It's been too quiet, Ralph. It's been quiet ever since robbery and the building was blown up," Bill answered.

Ralph winced subconsciously recalling what'd happened almost three weeks prior. "After that, I'm glad it's been quiet."

"Something's brewing, kid, something big," Bill continued.

"Well, let it percolate tomorrow. Tonight, Pamela and I are going out for a nice evening," Ralph said, handing Pam her purse, which was sitting on the desk.

"Any and all scenarios will have to wait until we get home, Bill. Got it?" Pam said.

"I got it," Bill grumbled. He went for the door, followed by Ralph and Pam, and muttered, "Doesn't mean I gotta like it."

--------------------------

Ralph parked the station wagon, got out, and went around to open the door for Pam. She got out and the two stopped, looking at the gate in front of them, which had a sign on it.

"'The Green Thumb Club's Hedge Maze. Enter if you dare.' That sounds inviting," Ralph said, making a face.

"They really seem to be trying to push the maze. They must be very proud of it," Pam commented.

They entered through the gate and continued on the path... not noticing the gate swinging closed quietly behind them. They reached the reception area and found it empty.

"Ralph, are we in the right place?" Pam asked.

Ralph nodded. "Yes. I'm positive."

Suddenly, a woman's voice echoed out of seemingly nowhere. "Welcome, Ralph, Pamela."

"Who's there?" Pam asked.

Ralph thought a moment, thinking he recognized the voice, but couldn't place it because of the echo altering it...

"I am your hostess. Allow me one moment."

"Pam...?" Ralph began, unsure of what was going on.

"This is very strange. There's no one else here yet," Pam said.

Ralph continued to try to place the voice. A few moments passed, and realization crossed his face, causing his eyes to widen. "Oh no... Pam! We need to leave _now_!"

"What? Why?" Pam asked.

In front of them, a sudden cloud of black smoke appeared. When it dissipated, a familiar woman, wearing a long black gown, with short red hair and dark make-up, stood there. "And so we meet again, dear Ralph."

Pam turned to him. "Ralph... what is she talking about? And who is she? How does she know you?"

"Well, Pamela--" Ralph began.

The woman snapped her fingers and Pam disappeared.

"_Pam_!" Ralph exclaimed. He glared at the woman. "Mona..."

The devil woman smiled demurely. "You remember me."

"What did you do to Pam? Where is she?"

"I am sorry, Ralph, but she asks too many questions," Mona said.

Ralph's eyes narrowed. "_Where is she_?"

"In the center of the maze."

"_What_!"

"And you must find your way through the maze to get to her," Mona said, simply.

"Or else what? I know there has to be something else to this," Ralph prompted.

"You will have three hours. If you do not find her... you will be mine to do with as I wish."

Ralph blinked. "Excuse me?"

"If you find her, you will then have another three hours to exit the maze. However, throughout the maze, many surprises will be unleashed and you will have to get past any you encounter."

"Now, hold on, here..."

Mona walked up to him and ran one hand down the side of his face. "I do hope that you do not find her. How I would like you for my own." She smiled again. "Your time begins now."

Ralph pushed past her, entering the maze. Already he had a choice of three paths. He sighed. "Great. Wish I had something of Pam's to get a vibe off." He opted for the path on the left and began walking.

Ralph was about halfway down the path when an idea hit him. He stripped down to the jammies, leaving the tux behind. He took three running steps and went air born... only to hit something unseen at the top of the hedges and crashed hard into the ground.

Ralph pushed himself up, shaking his head. "What the...?"

"Did I forget to mention the invisible ceiling?" Mona's voice taunted him, again coming from nowhere.

Ralph's hands clenched into fists and he pounded the ground, before getting up. Despite being unable to fly, he still decided to leave the tux behind. It'd be worth the hundred dollars for it just to get Pam back.

He turned a corner and stopped. In front of him stood a jet black panther, staring right at him.

Ralph gulped visibly. "Heh... nice kitty..." He watched the panther move a step closer. "I hope the suit works against big, angry cats that aren't house broken."

The large cat bared its teeth at him, then leapt at him. Ralph quickly flipped the cape over his head just before the panther knocked into him, sending both tumbling to the ground. He'd landed on his stomach and felt slightly dazed, but otherwise unharmed. He waited a moment, and hearing nothing from the animal, he lifted the the cape off his head and looked up. The panther was sprawled on its side, eyes closed, breathing a bit heavily.

Ralph got up slowly, just in case, and began to move on down the path. He let out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "Wonder how many more surprises like that one are waiting for me..." he said aloud.

"As many as I wish," Mona's disembodied voice taunted.

Ralph growled, growing more than just a little tired of the voice. He continued moving along in the maze and made a turn. He found he'd reached a dead end and sighed. Turning around, he paused, realizing he'd have to go past the panther again to get to the other path.

Ralph bowed his head and blinked invisible. He walked back toward the panther. Nearing it, he saw it just beginning to get up. He started past slowly, but saw the panther sniffing the air. He paused and saw that the panther seemed to be looking right at him. The large cat lunged again, but Ralph moved quickly in the direction he was headed in and began running. He rounded a corner and ran into the other path. When he thought he was far enough, he paused, leaning against a wall of greenery.

Ralph glanced back the way he came and listened. Hearing nothing, he sighed, and stood another moment to compose himself. Then he thought he felt something tickle his side. He looked down and saw that a vine had wrapped around his stomach. His eyes widened and he pulled at the vine. However, the vine wouldn't snap and he watched as another wrapped around and up his left leg.

"_No_!" Ralph cried out, trying to hack away at the vines. Another wrapped itself around his right arm, pulling it back flush against the rest of the greenery. He tried moving the arm and pulled away a few inches... only to have a second vine wrap around the same arm and pull it back again.

Now, he was beginning to panic. The suit wasn't providing him enough strength over the vines, which gave him an idea of just how strong the vines were. Another vine snaked its way around his stomach, then traveled up, wrapping around his chest. He watched as it continued to work its way higher as another wrapped itself over his right leg.

Ralph's left arm was the only limb still free and he used it the best he could to keep hacking away at the vines. He hadn't even noticed the one that'd gone around his chest was now making its way around his neck. Yet another vine started to wrap itself around his left arm at the shoulder. It pulled him back against the wall and snaked up his arm.

He tugged both arms, finding no give, and looked down slightly. The vine was now around his neck and still moving. Ralph froze, hoping the one around his neck wouldn't tighten.

As soon as he thought it, the vine started to tighten. Ralph began coughing, trying to get air. After several seconds, everything started fading to black.

--------------------------

Somewhere in the maze, Pam sat on the ground, trapped in a vine cage.

"What is going _on_ here?" Pam asked, not expecting an answer. "Ralph?" she called out. "Ralph!"

She heard a rustling, got up, and turned. She caught a glimpse of red, but it vanished quickly. "Ralph?"

The rustling came again and Pam turned in another direction. Again, she caught a glimpse of red. "_Ralph_!"

"Pamela?"

She spun around and found Ralph standing outside of the cage. Pam moved to the cage wall. "Ralph, get me out of here!"

Ralph just tilted his head and stayed where he stood, then his image seemed to flicker.

"Ralph?" Pam said, unsure of what she was seeing. She got no response. Instead, she watched Ralph's image fade out. "This is no time to practice being invisible, Ralph!" She waited for him to pop back in, but he didn't.

"I guess he did not feel chivalrous enough to rescue you."

Pam spun around again and crossed to the other side of the cage. She found Mona standing just out of arm's reach from the cage, smirking, with her arms folded. "Who are you? How do you know Ralph? And what am I doing in here?"

"You would not believe me if I told you who I am. For that reason, I cannot tell you how I know him, nor can I tell you what you are doing here," Mona replied.

Pam gritted her teeth. "Then what is going on? _Where_ is Ralph?"

"Ralph is on his way. Currently, he is making his way through the maze. Maybe," Mona said.

"Maybe?" Pam questioned.

"There are some interesting surprises that Ralph may encounter on his way here."

Pam frowned. "This was a set up." She paused. "What do you want?"

"Not what. Whom," Mona corrected.

"Whom..." Pam repeated, then her eyes widened. "No..."

Mona smirked as she began to fade out.

"_No_!" Pam yelled out.

--------------------------

"Ralph?"

The voice sounded a million miles away, but he felt the soft touch on his cheek, then felt warm breath on his cheek, also. It seemed as though it took every ounce of effort, but he managed to open his eyes. He winced at the effort, then fixed his gaze on Pam, who was seated beside him on the ground.

"The vines...?" he managed to get out, still sore from being choked.

"What vines?" Pam asked. "I found you here on the ground, unconscious. I was so worried."

She helped him sit up and he sagged forward, propping himself up with his forearms across his legs. Ralph sucked in a breath, still trying to shake the feeling of the vine around his throat. "The wall... vines... attacking me."

Pam shook her head. "There's nothing but leaves and branches here. No vines."

Ralph did his best to turn and look behind him. Sure enough, the vines were gone. He turned back again and covered his face with both hands. "This is so strange." He swallowed, uncovering his face, then continued, "There were vines coming out, wrapping around my arms, legs... one started choking me..." He coughed as if on cue and turned to Pam. "Pam?"

Pam's gaze was fixed on the finger tracing up and down Ralph's thigh.

"Pamela?" he tried again, but she just kept staring. "Pam?" He waved a hand in front of her face. Receiving still no response, he reached over and turned her head so she'd look at him.

The finger stopped its tracing and moved. As they stared at each other, Pam undid the suit's belt and slid her hand up under the tunic. Her fingers moved lightly over his skin as they met in a kiss.

Lost in the sensation, Ralph didn't noticed the slight trickle of blood from underneath the tunic, where Pam's hand was. They separated and she purposely scratched him hard.

"Ow!" Ralph cried out, looking down. He pulled up the tunic and found several bleeding scratches on his stomach. He turned to face Pam again and found her gone. "Pa--" he began, then realized, "that couldn't have been her..."

He pushed the tunic back down, over the scratches and grabbed the belt. He rested one hand flat on his stomach and noticed that the suit was repelling the still trickling blood. Ralph sighed and made an attempt at standing. He stood, but winced trying to straighten out. He wrapped the belt back around his waist, but buckled it loosely as the scratches were right where the belt sat.

Ralph turned a glare on the wall that had grabbed at him earlier, then started making his way slowly down the path. The whole situation was angering him and he was get tired of dealing with this devil woman who seemed to have an unhealthy affection for him. His mouth twitched into a grimace, disgusted.

Subconsciously, his left hand rubbed over his stomach where the scratches were. Fortunately, since the belt sat in the same place, it kept him from scratching the cuts and making them worse. Ralph paused, looking around and listening. The silence was broken by a grumble. He blushed slightly realizing that he was hungry, since he and Pam had been duped into thinking this was a legitimate affair and hadn't eaten before they left.

Ralph continued walking again, wondering if he'd be able to find anything to eat in this maze. He rounded a corner and found a wall full of blackberries. "Now, that's service." He walked right up to the wall and reached out to pick some of the berries. He paused, wondering if there might be something wrong with them, but that was when his stomach decided to argue its case by grumbling again. Ralph sighed and picked a handful of some of the best looking blackberries he'd ever seen. Now, he was almost positive there had to be something wrong with them, but hoped the suit would protect him from whatever it was.

Ralph started eating the berries while glancing around. This portion of the maze seemed harmless enough, especially with no vines or animals ready to pounce on him. He'd almost finished the berries he picked when he paused, feeling a little strange. He shook his head and finished the berries, then rubbed his hands on the sides of his legs, brushing away the berry juice. He glanced down and saw the dark streaks left on the leggings of the suit.

Ralph bit his lower lip, trying not to burst out laughing. His brain was wondering what was so funny, but he couldn't help but try to laugh. He managed a chuckle and hearing this, just caused him to laugh outright. Still thinking there was nothing funny, he said out loud, still laughing, "Shut up!"

He doubled over from laughing so hard. Ralph couldn't stop laughing. He fell to his hands and knees, shaking from laughing so hard. He heard the belt slip off and fall to the ground with a light thud, since he hadn't fastened it snugly and laughed again. He pushed himself onto his knees and tugged at the hem of the tunic. Ralph pulled it up and saw the scratches again, which had stopped bleeding, but were still red. He laughed again.

He tugged the cape off, then pulled the tunic off altogether and dropped them onto the belt next to him. Ralph laughed again as he pulled the shoes off, then tugged at the leggings. He fell over onto his back and pulled the leggings off, adding them to the pile. Lying practically spread eagle in just his shorts, Ralph laughed again, even seeming to convulse a little from all the effort needed.

--------------------------

Pam was seated on the ground in the cage again when she thought she heard a sound. It was low at first, then became louder. She recognized it as laughter and it wasn't stopping. She frowned. "I'm glad _someone's_ finding something here so hilarious." She paused, listening to the laugh. Pam's eyes widened, recognizing it. "Ralph!" She made a face. "Why is he laughing?"

Mona appeared once again in her black smoke, this time right in front of Pam. She wore a satisfied smile. "It would seem that dear Ralph has found something funny. Perhaps he ate some berries that did not agree with him."

Pam growled, standing up. "You...!" She made an aggravated sound, her fists clenching at her sides.

"It was quite a sight, really, but the poor dear tired himself out."

"What are you talking about?" Pam asked.

"He is currently taking a little nap, minus his rather interesting choice in clothes." Mona smirked again, then disappeared in her black smoke.

Pam thought for a moment, then frowned. "Oh, Ralph..."

--------------------------

Ralph blinked his eyes open and found himself staring up at the sky. He groaned, moving to run a hand over his face. With his arm raised, he stopped, seeing that his arm was bare. He looked down at the rest of himself and his eyes widened. He found the cape draped over his lower half. Not remembering much after stripping to his shorts, Ralph looked at the pile of clothes next to him... and found the shorts. He blushed and scrambled to grab the discarded clothes next to him. He still felt sore from the vines, but hurried to put everything back on the best he could.

Once back in the suit, he checked his watch. "Less than an hour left! How long was I out?" Ralph made a face and decided there was only one thing left to do. He started running through the maze at top speed, occasionally dodging an animal, pit, or greenery with a mind of its own.

In front of him, Ralph finally saw a clearing. He kept running as fast as the suit allowed, but right before the entrance to the clearing, he tripped over something unseen and did an unwanted flight and tumble past a cage-like structure made of vines. In the entrance, a large log came into view suddenly.

Ralph pushed himself up, shaking his head, clearing the cobwebs. He only had about fifteen minutes left now and...

"Ralph!"

He looked up and saw Pam reaching an arm out of the vine cage. "Pam!" He stumbled getting up and finally made his way over. "Pamela, are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Pam glanced him over, noting he looked a little ragged. "Are you okay, Ralph?"

He ran a hand through his hair and gave a half smile. "I've had better days, frankly." He tugged at the vines. "Now, how to get you out of there..."

"I am afraid it will not be so easy." Mona reappeared in her black smoke.

"You're really getting on my nerves, Mona. Why won't you leave me alone!" Ralph said.

"Hon, what's going on? Who is she?" Pam asked.

"Go ahead, dear Ralph, tell her," Mona said.

Ralph turned to Pam and sighed. "She's the devil."

"Excuse me?" Pam said, not believing what she just heard.

"Allow me to give you some proof," Mona said. She motioned to Ralph. "Watch the tunic." She snapped her fingers and the black spot suddenly appeared on his chest.

Pam blinked. "What did you just do to him?"

"That's a good question. What _is_ this thing supposed to be, anyway?" Ralph said.

"That is my mark. Those whom I choose to help me receive it. Once it is there, it remains forever and that person is completely under my control. As I said before, Ralph, you interest me and that is the reason why. I cannot control _you_. Why is that? It would not have anything to do with that interesting red suit you wear, would it?" Mona said, starting to move toward him.

"Get away from him!" Pam called out.

Ralph stood his ground, an angry look on his face. "I've had enough of you and your tortures. I know you were behind my injury three weeks ago."

"The explosion and the robbery. Yes, I set up the entire situation. I wanted to see how you react to certain situations. You showed incredible powers that I would love to have helping me in my quest."

"Quest?"

Mona stepped right up to Ralph and touched his chest around where the spot was. "My quest for souls."

Ralph glanced down at her hand, then back up at her again. "This spot is to mark those who you've already tainted."

"Very good, dear Ralph," Mona said.

Pam made a strangled sound, not believing what she's been hearing.

"Except that I have this suit and, even though it didn't work before when you showed me what Hell looks like, it will work now," Ralph said, then reached out and grabbed Mona's right wrist.

"Perhaps that suit can protect you, but I still have my powers, also," Mona countered. She disappeared in the black smoke, leaving Ralph looking for her.

Ralph gave up and turned to the cage. He paused, seeing the look on Pam's face. "It wasn't a nightmare."

"Not in the usual meaning of the word, atleast," Pam added.

Ralph nodded. "Yeah." He paused, looking at the vine cage. "Well, here goes nothing." He grabbed two vine bars and pulled on them until he made a hole large enough for him to help Pam through. "Now, lets get out of here."

They made their way back to the entrance Ralph came through and he bounced right off it. Ralph remained standing, but shook his head. "Oh, great."

Pam pressed her hands to the invisible wall. "This is incredible..."

"And very annoying," Ralph grumbled. He pressed both hands flat on the invisible wall and pushed. The amount of effort was clear on his face as he strained against it.

"Come on, Ralph, you can do it..."

Ralph was now pushing so hard he had beads of sweat forming on his forehead and his face was flushed. Finally, after what seemed like forever, the invisible wall turned visible, in the form of a brick wall, just before it broke down. Bricks tumbled everywhere, on both sides of the entrance way.

Ralph fell to his hands and knees, breathing heavily from exertion. He looked up when he felt Pam's hand on his back. "I'm okay. Come on," he stood, if a little shakily. He helped Pam through the rubble and started down the path.

"Ralph, what took you so long to find me?" Pam asked.

"Well... I ran into a few problems on my way," Ralph answered shortly.

"I could hear you laughing."

"Uh, yeah... I'll explain later," he said.

They rounded a corner and stopped. Ralph pushed Pam behind him as she covered her mouth. In the pathway ahead of them, there had to be, easily, a hundred or more snakes.

"Ralph... what do we do?" Pam whispered.

Ralph gulped. "Pray."

--------------------------

Outside the entrance for the "Green Thumb Club," a tan Dodge Diplomat pulled up next to the station wagon. Bill got out, glancing at the green vehicle next to his. He glanced at his watch, made an irritated noise, and headed through the gate. "Almost four hours later and those two are still in there."

Bill stopped outside the hedge maze and looked around. Finding nothing, he sighed, glancing at the sign, "Probably got lost and decided to make it a night." He started into the maze. "Might as well rename it the "Lovers' Maze." Just hope the two lovebirds aren't hurt, to boot."

--------------------------

"Ralph, are you sure this is going to work?" Pam asked.

"Do you want the truth?" Ralph returned, frowning. "We don't have any choice. Unless there's another exit, we _have_ to get past the snakes somehow." He sighed. "Pamela, just stay back around the corner, out of sight until I come back, okay?"

Pam gave him a kiss on the lips. "Be careful, Ralph."

He nodded and Pam moved to stand around the corner. Ralph turned and glared at the numerous snakes. He really hoped his trick would work, atleast long enough to go back and get Pam and get her out of there.

Ralph sucked in a breath and started running along one wall. And the end of where the snakes were, he did a u-turn and ran back along the other wall, essentially beginning to run laps around that portion of the path. Each time around, he moved a little more towards the center of the hall on one side, rounding the snakes up toward the other wall. Ralph noticed that every once in a while, one of the snakes would shoot up and try to bite him, but he'd already be past before it even got close.

Ralph was getting really close to the other wall and actually saw some of the snakes starting to make contact with the suit, but would fall back down. _This is it_, he thought and ran to get Pam. He pulled the cape off and handed it to her. She climbed on his back wordlessly, holding the cape over the back of her, and he ran again to run past the pile of snakes that were just starting to spread out again.

As they had just gotten past, one of the snakes shot out again and wrapped around Ralph's left leg, tripping him up. Both he and Pam tumbled to the ground. Pam kept ahold of the cape, covering her while Ralph kicked at the snake.

"Pam, gimme the cape, quick!" Ralph yelled out. Pam tossed him the cape and held it up as the snake shot up again. Ralph caught and wrapped up the snake in the cape. He held onto the edges and started whirling the cape. After the fifth revolution, he let two edges go, and the snake was flung back with the others. Ralph turned back to Pam. "_Go_!"

The couple ran down the rest of the hall until they rounded the next corner. Pam doubled over to catch her breath and heard a thud. She glanced up and found Ralph on the ground, panting and even shaking a little.

He looked up and met her gaze. "I hate snakes," Ralph said, simply.

--------------------------

Bill had his service revolver drawn as he slowly moved down one hall. He didn't want to get lost in the maze, but if Ralph and Pam were in trouble, he wanted to help them. The whole thing was eerily quiet. _Too quiet_.

--------------------------

Ralph and Pam continued back through the maze, an arm wrapped around the other... holding each other up.

Pam noticed how quiet it had gotten, even from Ralph. He hadn't said a word since the snakes. She was really starting to worry about him. She stole a glance at him and almost thought he looked defeated. Granted, he was worn out from everything he'd been through in the maze, but he was too positive of a person to have that look on his face.

"Ralph, hon, are you okay?"

Ralph shook his head and stopped, while Pam kept going a few steps before stopping. "If she's the devil, how can I stop her?" he said.

Pam blinked. _There's definitely something wrong_, she thought. "Ralph, you're already doing that. Look at how far you've come. You saved me!"

"After I almost ran out of time because I was too busy laughing my ass off from those stupid berries and stripping naked because it was funny!" Ralph exclaimed.

"Hon, snap out of it. She's getting to you. That wasn't your fault! You can't blame yourself!" Pam said.

"If I hadn't fallen for her little trick, we wouldn't have been in this situation to begin with!"

Pam winced as Ralph got louder. "We _both_ thought it was legitimate, Ralph."

"It was _my fault_, Pamela! _Mine_!"

Pam's eyes narrowed. She told herself, _This is for his own good._ She pulled back and sent her right hand across his cheek, in a resounding slap.

With no protection from the suit for his head, the force of the slap spun him around and sent him to the ground, on his knees.

"Ralph, I'm sorry..." Pam began.

Ralph shuddered, then looked up, his blue eyes looking watery. "You were right," he began quietly, "she _is_ getting to me. I... I can't even think straight. I don't know if I can get us out of here--"

"Tracker co-cheese, we have a really interesting scene in front of us."

Both turned to see Bill rounding the corner, holstering his revolver. "Could you two make anymore noise? I could hear you good enough to just follow the voices. Or Ralph's loud self-blaming, to be exact. By the way, Ralph, you look like death warmed over."

Ralph's eyes rolled upward, then he turned a look to Bill. "Thanks, Bill. How long have you been here?"

Bill checked his watch, then shrugged. "Long enough to know that I can still track with the best of 'em. Only took me about ten minutes."

"I don't believe it," Ralph grumbled as he stood. "Didn't you encounter anything strange on your way here?"

"The only thing strange besides you almost howling at the moon was the otherwise eerie silence I noticed when I first got into this overgrown garden," Bill replied.

Ralph turned to Pam. "I wonder if she's gone...?" He looked down at himself and found the spot was gone again. He glanced at Pam again.

"It's possible..." she replied, with a nod.

"Who's "she"?" Bill asked.

"We'll explain when we get out of here, Bill," Pam replied.

"Tracker Bill," Ralph began, "show us the way out."

--------------------------

Mona watched the trio leave the maze and split up into the two cars. Once the cars were gone, the maze suddenly hazed over with black smoke. When the smoke cleared, a large greenhouse sat in its place. She turned off the monitor and sat back in her throne.

"My dear Ralph... you will be mine," she said, a slight evil smile appearing.

--------------------------

Back at the Hinkleys' home, Ralph rested on the couch, a face cloth over his forehead. He stared up at the ceiling and drummed his fingers on his stomach.

Pam came in, another face cloth in hand. "Here you go, hon."

They traded face clothes, but Ralph didn't make eye contact. "Pam..." he trailed off.

"Ralph, you're doing it again. We were explaining everything to Bill, but   
you became quiet again when Bill starting asking questions," she said. "Granted, Bill didn't do it in an overly tactful way, but you can't keep what you're feeling bottled up. What exactly is bothering you?"

"I can survive the tortures, I already have. It's... it's what she said about her quest for souls and what that black mark means. What if she ever shows up and I don't have the suit. I'll be gone," he snapped his fingers, "like that. I'm scared, Pamela. This is nothing like all those scenarios we've had before. You catch the bad guy, lock them up, and you're done. Okay, there were a few exceptions who came back for seconds, but they were taken care of again." He paused, finally meeting Pam's eyes. "I don't know how to defeat the devil. Put her in jail, she'll disappear in a cloud of smoke and literally be right back on my tail again."

"I wish I could say I have an answer for that, Ralph, but I don't. We'll just have to do our best--"

"What if our best isn't good enough?"

Pam glared at him, then her looked softened. She ran a hand through his curls, her eyes searching his. "It will be good enough."

"How do you know?" Ralph asked, quietly.

"We have something that she doesn't," Pam said, then smiled. "Compassion. And love... although that's debatable with Bill sometimes." She winked.

Ralph gave a slight smile. "You're right." He paused and sighed. "Outside of generally feeling more positive now, I feel terrible. I ache all over, I'm tired, those scratches won't stop itching...!"

Pam grabbed at the fingers that had been drumming on his stomach, coincidentally right where the scratches were. "They might stop itching if you stop touching them."

"Right again, Pamela."

Pam leaned down and kissed his lips. As she pulled away, she grinned. "And if you ever act the way you did in the maze ever again, I will slap you just as hard, if not harder."

"Got it."

**End**


	3. The Blind Mind Twist

**The Blind Mind Twist**

by Lauren

------------------------------------------

The bell rang, signaling the end of the school day at Whitney High. Ralph gathered his things as his students noisily left the classroom. Once alone, he sighed, shaking his head. He saw so much potential in these kids, if only they'd apply themselves. He figured if Tony and the others could do it...

Ralph closed his briefcase and left the classroom, headed down the path through the quad, heading for the faculty parking lot. Glancing up at the sky, he frowned at the dark clouds covering the sky.

_Looks like rain_, he thought, as he pulled his car keys from his pocket. Ralph walked up to the station wagon and slipped the key in the lock, turned, and opened the door. He sat and put the briefcase on the passenger seat. Ralph put the key in the ignition and paused, suddenly getting an odd sensation. He loosened and removed his tie, then unbuttoned his dress shirt to just past his chest, revealing that he wasn't currently wearing the suit.

Ralph's eyes widened, seeing that the black spot had appeared once again. "Oh no..." he groaned and pulled his door closed.

"Where are we going to in such a rush?"

He turned to the passenger seat and found Mona now sitting next to him. She tossed the briefcase into the back seat and snapped her fingers, locking all the doors.

Ralph shook his head. "Don't you give up? What part of no don't you understand?"

"Dear Ralph," Mona said, then gave a demure smile, "I will not give up until you are mine."

"Yeah, well, you're going to be very busy for a long time to come, then!" he said, then tugged at the door. "So, what, you're going to keep me locked up in here with you until I've gone insane or something? I think I'm already starting to go crazy from putting up with your little tortures!"

"I think you need to calm down, Ralph."

"Calm down? I think you need to leave me alone!" he argued.

"I wish you would not fight me." She reached for the mark on his chest, but Ralph turned away and grabbed her arm. "Why make this difficult?" she asked, pointing the index finger on the other hand, causing Ralph to release his grip.

"What was that?" he asked, surprised that he let go unwillingly.

"You are not wearing that special red suit," Mona stated.

Ralph's breathing hitched, realizing the implications.

"Yes, dear Ralph." She snapped her fingers again. "Now, try to get away from me."

"What...?" Ralph began, then tried to move... and found he couldn't. "No..."

Mona reached across for the spot again.

"_No_!" he yelled.

She touched her hand to his chest and Ralph fell silent. The look on his face showed he was trying to fight, but was losing. After a few moments, his head bowed.

Mona smirked. "Now the fun begins."

------------------------------------------

Ralph awoke sometime later, still in the car, in the parking lot. He blinked his eyes, seemingly trying to focus. He moved both hands forward, to the steering wheel slowly until his fingers bumped into it. The wheel was warm. He frowned and began to turn to his right, sliding his right hand over the empty passenger seat. _Can't be night time_... he thought.

He turned around in the driver's seat and reach into the back, feeling around, on the seat, then moved to the floor. Finally, his fingers landed on what he'd been looking for. He grasped the black gym bag and tugged it to the front, where it landed unceremoniously on the passenger seat. Ralph felt for the zipper, then after finding it, opened the bag. He reached in and felt around again, until he pulled out a small silver item.

He held it up to his mouth, while running a thumb over it. He found the button and pushed it. "Bill? Bill, come in! I'm at the school, it's an emergency! Bill, I don't care if you're in a meeting. Get over here as quick as you can!"

------------------------------------------

Bill pulled into the parking lot, still griping about the story he had to come up with... since he _had_ been in a meeting when Ralph decided to contact him. Because of the meeting, once he heard Ralph first say his name, he tucked the communicator away, only hearing up through that Ralph was still at the school.

Bill pulled the Diplomat up next to the station wagon and saw Ralph in the driver's seat, head back. Bill got out and went over. He tapped on the window and watched as Ralph blinked, then felt along the door, looking for the window crank.

Ralph rolled the window down a little. "Bill?"

"Yeah, kid, it's me. What's so urgent to pull me outta a meeting? You said it was an emergency."

"Oh. Sorry about that, but..." He blinked his eyes again, and felt around for the door lock and pulled it up.

Bill opened the door. "Well, Ralph, what is it?"

He kept looking straight forward. "I can't see, Bill. There's nothing but black."

Bill waved his hand in front of the younger man's eyes. His own widened when Ralph's didn't follow his hand. "Geez, kid, what happened?"

"Last thing I remember was finding that the black spot had come back..."

"Which you'd said means that Mona dame's around somewhere."

"Yeah." Ralph frowned.

"Okay, kid, you're coming with me. Need anything from the car?" Bill said.

"The gym bag on the passenger seat has the suit in it," Ralph replied.

"Right." Bill helped Ralph out of the station wagon. "Stay here while I grab the bag."

"Where can I go? I can't see anything!" Ralph complained.

"Sheesh, sorry, Ralph, I didn't mean it like that." Bill reached across the driver's seat and grabbed the bag from the passenger side. He grabbed the keys and left the station wagon, closing and locking the door after him. He then opened the passenger door of the Diplomat and steered Ralph into the seat, closed the door, then walked around to get in the driver's side.

When Ralph heard the door slam, he turned slightly. "I wonder if this is permanent?"

"Don't say that, kid. You're gonna be just fine."

Ralph frowned. He had a sinking feeling that his loss of sight was only the beginning.

------------------------------------------

Bill steered Ralph into his apartment, keeping one hand on the younger man's shoulder, and dropped the black gym bag on the floor from his other hand.

"Bill, I know what your apartment looks like!" Ralph exclaimed, flinging both arms out at his sides and nearly hitting Bill.

"Which is good, kid, but you just about cold cocked me with your flailing arm." Bill pushed the offending arm down and caught a quick glance of Ralph's eyes. "And I'm getting you a pair of my Aviators because your eyes are giving me the creeps!" He turned for the desk, right next to the door and began to rummage through things, looking for the sunglasses.

"What am I going to do, Bill? I'm no help like this! I don't even think I'd still be able to teach--" Ralph began rattling off.

"Kid, wouldja knock it off? I'm guessing it ain't permanent, just that dame's way of getting to you." Bill straightened and turned to Ralph. "Here's the glasses." He put the sunglasses on Ralph and nodded. "Much better."

"Gee, thanks, Uncle Bill."

"Good to hear your sarcasm is still intact."

"Any time." Ralph paused. "So now what? I wait her out... or wait for her next torture tactic?"

"Ralph, I'm gonna knock you into next Tuesday if you don't stop it. Where's your always positive attitude?"

"It's gone until I can see my own hands in front of my face again." Ralph began to move forward, his arms out in front of him. "Where the hell's your couch? Did you move it...?"

Bill watched the younger man nearly fall over the couch as he walked into it. Ralph caught himself and instead merely fell onto it. Bill sighed. "I'm getting the Counselor. Maybe she can wrangle you better than I'm doing." He went over to the phone and picked up the receiver as Ralph situated himself.

Bill dialed and turned back towards Ralph again as he waited for the phone to be answered. He watched as Ralph paused in his movement, then his head whip to one side. Bill set the receiver back down, having not gotten any answer, and moved somewhat slowly over to Ralph, who now hadn't moved again.

"Uh, Ralph, you okay, there?" Bill asked. He reached out carefully and rested his hand on Ralph's right shoulder. Bill's eyes widened at the increasing blackness he saw and removed his hand, his vision returning to normal.

------------------------------------------

Ralph, meanwhile, had a literal internal conflict going on...

"Hey, get up."

"What...?" Ralph asked. He blinked his eyes, but still had no vision.

"I said, get up."

Ralph lifted his head, trying to determine the direction the voice was coming from... and why it sounded like his voice.

A man who looked just like Ralph, but with black hair, moved toward him and grabbed the collar of his shirt, lifting the blond to his feet. "I told you to get up. When I tell you to do something, you do it!" He gave Ralph a shake.

"Wha-- why do you sound like me?" Ralph asked, gasping a little.

"Because I am you. The only difference is that I'm evil."

"And proud of it, too, apparently." Ralph was dropped by his twin and coughed. "Where are we? Last I remember, I was in Bill's apartment and he'd just gone to the phone--"

"Shut up!" He whirled on Ralph, back handing him.

Ralph stumbled a few steps and raised a hand to his cheek. He hissed from the sting, but continued, "Where's Bill? What did you do to him?"

His double smirked, despite Ralph's being blinded. "I killed him," he lied.

"You-- _what_!" Ralph froze. He really had no idea if his twin was telling the truth or not, but he hadn't heard anything from Bill since the twin appeared. And he still didn't know where he was, either.

"Shot him with his own gun," the twin said, proudly. He walked over to Ralph. "Bam!" He slapped his right hand against Ralph's chest as hard as he could.

Ralph doubled over, cringing in pain and from having the wind knocked out of him. "You..." he gasped, sucking in air the best he could.

"And I had some fun with your wife, Pam--"

"_NO!"_ Ralph swung a fist at his double. His hand hit something hard and he cried out in pain and cradled it, falling onto his knees.

The twin laughed, making the brick wall disappear from between them. "Not only are you blind and got a couple bruised ribs, but now you've got a broken hand, too."

Tears were now pouring from Ralph's eyes. His double just laughed.

------------------------------------------

Bill had already been worried when Ralph froze in mid-movement, but he was even more so now seeing tears streaming from the younger man's eyes. Bill wished there was something, anything, that he could do...

Ralph suddenly moved again. Immediately, he doubled over, favoring his right hand, and crying openly.

"Ralph?" Bill said, carefully. He moved back, making sure to not get too close just yet incase Ralph decided to swing out.

Ralph lifted his head, the tears still coming. "Bill...?" he asked, his voice cracking.

As tough as Bill was, it broke his heart to see Ralph like this... and to hear him so upset. "Kid, what happened?" He sat next to Ralph and was immediately clung to. "Take it easy, Ralph," Bill said, "take it easy."

------------------------------------------

Pam walked down the hall, angry she'd been stuck in court all afternoon, unable to help out Ralph and Bill. She stopped and knocked on the door to the hospital room, then waited. "Bill?"

"Come in, Counselor."

Pam opened the door and stepped inside, closing the door after her. She found Bill seated, his feet propped up, resting on the end of the bed, styrofoam cup filled with coffee in his hands. Pam passed him and moved around to the other side of the bed.

"Ralph's still out from the sedative. Had to set his hand. They taped his ribs, too," Bill explained.

Pam had an idea of how everything happened. "So, what did you tell the doctor?"

Bill shrugged. "Well, told the doc that because Ralph had temporary blindness caused by seeing an extremely bright flash directly, he got frustrated and punched a wall."

Pam winced, knowing it wasn't the truth, but since they didn't know what really happened, it was bad enough. "And the ribs?"

"He tripped and hit the couch, knocking the wind out of him," Bill said. He made a face, "Bad excuse, that one, but it worked."

"They're not going to think he's a threat to himself, are they?" she asked.

Bill shook his head. "No. The doc checked out his eyes, too, and said the blindness was temporary. Something about the retinas I didn't understand."

"Could you two keep it down?" came a groggy voice.

Pam turned back to Ralph, while Bill got up and set his coffee on the table. "Ralph..." Pam began.

His eyes blinked, but he kept looking straight ahead. "Evil twin... he suckered me..." He winced, trying to take in a full breath of air.

"Bill?" Pam said, turning a glance on him.

"The kid never left my sight. I was trying to call you and he was trying to situate on the couch, then he just froze," Bill explained.

"Don't know where," Ralph mumbled. "Punched brick wall... hit in the ribs..."

"You punched a brick wall? Why?" Pam asked.

"Thought he hurt you," Ralph said, weakly, turning his head slightly toward her. His eyes blinked a few times... then met hers.

"Ralph... you're staring into my eyes," she said, surprised.

"Little blurry... not black," he said, a hint of a smile appearing for a moment.

"That's progress," Bill commented.

------------------------------------------

Mona clicked off her monitor, seeing the results from the hospital. She was pleased with the mental anguish inflicted on Ralph, and even more pleased with what his evil twin did. She made a mental note to bring him back sometime to help her out.

She thought it was best to let Ralph have his sight back, hence giving him temporary blindness. Mona wanted to make sure that he'd be able to see the next time she decided to "visit" him. For now, she had some plans to make...

------------------------------------------

After a few days of recuperating in the hospital and though his hand was still wrapped up, Ralph was released and sent home. He'd already explained to Bill and Pam what he thought had happened to him.

Ready to come home, Bill offered to help out, which Ralph accepted, knowing how worried the agent had been, even though Ralph really didn't need any help. Once back at the house, Pam went to prepare supper while Bill hung around.

"Ya need anything, kid?" Bill asked, as Ralph settled himself in one of the soft chairs.

Ralph shook his head. "No, Bill, but thank you."

"Uh, listen, kid... Ralph..." Bill stammered, sitting on the couch.

Ralph gave a slight smile, knowing how tough this was for Bill. "Bill, don't, please." He waved his good hand. "I feel better. Well..." He pointed at his broken right hand. "This'll take some getting used to--"

"But...?" Bill said.

Ralph sighed and ran his left hand through his hair. "I'm not so sure about..." he tapped the side of his head, "up here."

"You've been through alot, Ralph. That's understandable." Bill paused a moment, then added, "I made it through Korea and I'm okay."

Ralph blinked, then broke out a wide grin. "I don't know about that, Bill. I think that's debatable."

"Very funny, kid," Bill grumbled.

Pam came out from the kitchen. "Supper's ready, guys."

"Thanks, hon," Ralph said, standing. He stopped next to her and kissed her cheek.

"What was that for?" she asked.

"For being you."

"Not the mushy stuff..." Bill groaned as he followed, headed for the dining room.

"Well, I already thanked you, Bill..." Ralph began, then he grinned, a gleam in his eyes, "unless you wanted the same _type_ of thank you..."

Bill's eyes widened and Ralph started laughing. "That's disgusting, kid, you know that..." He continued to grumble as they sat at the dining room table.

**End**


	4. Running The Gauntlet

**Running The Gauntlet**

by Lauren

------------------------------------------

Ralph sat in a lawn chair in the backyard of his and Pam's house. He flexed his right hand, trying to get rid of the stiffness. It had been several weeks since it'd been broken... and it was also the same amount of time since he'd last encountered Mona.

Ralph felt a chill on his neck and shuddered, turning to look behind him. He laughed when he realized that the wind had simply picked up a little.

"Kid? Where are ya, Ralph?"

Ralph didn't even turn around. "In the backyard, Bill!" he called out.

The FBI agent came out the back door, dressed in his usual gray three-piece.

"What's up, Bill?" Ralph asked, craning his neck to look back. He watched Bill cross the yard and stop by his side.

"Thought you might wanna get some lunch."

"You've got a scenario you want to talk over, don't you?" Ralph said, subconsciously flexing his hand.

"Yeah, I do. You wearin' the suit already?" Bill said.

"No, that's just how well I know you."

Bill glanced down and saw the younger man flexing his hand. "How's the hand feeling?"

Ralph looked down and noticed what he was doing. Again. "It's a little sore. I really did a number on it." He gave a slight smirk. "As if my handwriting wasn't bad enough before."

"Sense of humor: intact," Bill commented. "Come on, kid, lets go grab a bite to eat."

Ralph nodded and paused a moment before getting up. "Hang on a minute, Bill. I'm going to put the suit on." Bill turned a look to him. He shrugged. "I've just got a weird feeling..."

------------------------------------------

The room was lit by a single, dim light bulb. A dark figured walked around what looked like a large box set in the middle of the room. The figure lifted a hand and the box stood up by itself on one end.

The figure nodded, then disappeared in a puff of black smoke.

------------------------------------------

Bill and Ralph exited the diner and headed for the parking lot.

"So, she's really around again?" Bill asked, quietly.

Ralph nodded. "Unfortunately. The black spot came back and she'd said that would be how I'd know she's coming to try for me again. Last time, she showed up almost immediately, so she could be around here anywhere."

"That's just wonderful," Bill commented.

They began to cross an aisle to get back to the beige Diplomat, when a black undescript car came barreling toward them.

"_BILL_!" Ralph yelled. He moved, shoving the agent out of the way.

Bill stumbled between two parked cars and heard a thump. He righted himself and saw the car was gone. Then he saw Ralph laying motionless on the ground. "Oh, come on. Kid, you have the jammies on..." He moved over to Ralph, quickly, and knelt by him.

Bill did a double-take looking at Ralph. The younger man was unscathed, but unconscious nevertheless. Bill checked Ralph's vitals, finding breathing and heartbeat normal. Moving his hands away, Bill noticed that Ralph was now glowing. "...I hate this..." Then he noticed his hands were glowing... along with the rest of him. "Awe, no..."

------------------------------------------

Bill shook his head and looked around. He sat on the floor of a mostly barren room. The only thing he saw was a large box in the middle of the room.

A groan caused Bill to turned to his right. He saw Ralph flex his right hand again, before opening his eyes. "...Did you get the number of that truck...?" he asked, muzzily.

"Not a truck, kid. A black car. Knocked you out," Bill answered. "But, uh, Ralph, do you know where we are?"

Ralph lifted his head and looked around the room. "Uhh..." Then his eyes widened. "Oh no."

"What?"

"Bill... we're in hell."

Bill stood, then help Ralph up. "Whadaya mean, we're in hell?"

"I mean exactly what I said, Bill. Mona must be close..."

"How very perceptive." Mona appeared in black smoke, standing by the large box. "Welcome to my home."

"Lady, you've got some explaining to do," Bill said.

"Bill," Ralph hissed.

"What would you like me to explain, William?" Mona asked.

Bill gave Ralph a look. The younger man shrugged. "Lets try this, then," Bill said. "What happened with that car that hit Ralph?"

Mona smiled. "Dear Ralph..." Ralph rolled his eyes. She continued, "That interesting red suit kept him unscathed. However, since it does not protect his head, he was knocked unconscious when his head hit the ground, thus allowing me an opportunity to bring both of you here."

"Lucky us," Bill commented. "So, what's the plan, sweetheart? String us up by our thumbs, strap us to the racks..."

Ralph ran a hand over his face, shaking his head.

"First, I will explain one other thing as dear Ralph has already found out. Here, his red suit does not work the same way," Mona said. Ralph folded his arms, glaring at her. "As such, it is my intent to keep him _in_ the suit while he is here."

"And there I thought you wanted him _out_ of the suit!" Bill argued, causing Ralph to glare at him.

"Hm." Mona smiled. She walked around to the far end of the large box.

"What is that?" Ralph asked.

Mona raised the lid, its hinges creaking as it moved. "You will see." She let the lid go, leaving it wide open. "This is the perfect length."

Ralph and Bill exchanged looks, then turned back in time to see Mona moving closer to them. Ralph put an arm in front of Bill. "Stay away from him," Ralph warned.

"It is not he whom I wish for." Mona held a hand up.

"Look out, kid, I think she's gonna put a hex on you or something," Bill said.

Ralph took a step forward... and froze. The only part of him still moving were his eyes.

"Hey, I was kidding about the hex thing!" Bill complained.

Mona pointed at Ralph, then moved her finger toward the box. Ralph began walking toward it. He stopped next to it, then stepped in. Mona lowered her hand and Ralph laid down on it. As she had said, it was the perfect length for his height.

"What is this, some kinda twisted magic trick?" Bill asked. He watched her close the lid, then lock it. "Okay, fun's over. Let him out. _Now_."

Mona snapped her fingers, making a book of matches appear. Bill's eyes widened. She pulled one out and struck it on the book, lighting it.

"You wouldn't," Bill said.

Mona held the lit match over the box... then dropped it. The fire spread quickly over the top of the box.

"I don't believe it..." Bill said, shocked. All he could do was stare at the flames.

Mona walked over to Bill and waved a hand over his eyes, causing him to sag into her arms. She set him down on the floor, then turned back to the box.

------------------------------------------

Bill opened his eyes and found himself on the floor once again. He immediately looked to where the box was and found it gone. "Oh no..."

A creaking caught Bill's attention and he turned to a door that was opening, apparently by itself. He stood and cautiously went through it. This room contained a table, with a white sheet draped over a form. Bill fought against wanting to run over and rip the sheet off the table, but instead took his time. Carefully, he glanced around the room as he crossed. He stopped next to the table and grabbed an edge of the sheet.

Bill lifted the sheet slowly and peeked under. He was met with curly blond hair. He pulled the sheet back, uncovering Ralph's face. The younger man still looked unscathed, despite this time being in a burning box. Now, Bill pulled the sheet off altogether. Ralph still wore the suit and had no markings on him at all.

Bill moved back, away from the table, feeling that something wasn't right. He noticed an upright cabinet against the far wall and went over to it. He tried the handle, but found it locked. Bill found a mallet on the counter running along the wall and used it on the handle. The broken handle clattered to the floor and both doors of the cabinet swung open, revealing Ralph tied up inside.

Ralph grumbled something into the gag as Bill reached for it, then pulled it off. "Thanks, Bill." He turned so Bill could untie his hands. Stepping out of the cabinet, he flexed his right hand again and caught sight of the 'other Ralph' on the table. "Uh... Bill?"

They both walked back over to the table. "How'd I find you in the cabinet?" Bill asked, voicing the question of the feeling he had.

"Hm," Ralph began, looking over his 'counterpart.' Then he noticed it. "I know. There's no black spot."

Bill frowned, turning back to Ralph. "How did you get out of that flaming box of death?"

Ralph blinked. "The _what_?!"

Bill sighed. "Devil woman made you get into a large box, then set it on fire. After that, she knocked me out. Don't know what happened. How'd you get out?"

"Bill, the last thing I remember is telling Mona to stay away from you, until waking up in the cabinet," Ralph explained.

Suddenly, Ralph's double on the table reached out and gripped Ralph's right hand tightly.

"Hey!?" Ralph exclaimed, trying to pull his hand from the grip. Bill started trying to pry the fingers from his hand. The grip remained tight.

"C'mon, let go," Bill said, prying with all his might.

Meanwhile, Ralph was basically being forced to the ground. He was on his knees, when his double finally sat up, still keeping the grip.

Bill turned to the double. "Why don't ya go back to your nap?"

The double used his free hand to slap Bill, knocking him into the wall, then clamped his other hand onto Ralph's as Bill righted himself.

"_No, ahhh, let go_!" Ralph yelled, pain clearly etched across his face now.

Bill picked up the mallet he'd used on the cabinet and gripped it tightly. He knew what he had to do. He walked up behind the double, took aim, closed his eyes, and swung the mallet down, striking the double in the back of the head.

Bill opened his eyes and found Ralph still kneeling on the floor, cradling his hand. The double was gone. "Kid, you okay?" Bill asked.

Ralph shook his head. "No..." He tried flexing the hand and cried out, instead.

Bill grabbed the white sheet and a pair of scissors, then went back to Ralph. "Here, wrap it with this." He cut a strip off the sheet and began wrapping it around Ralph's hand.

"Gotta get out of here," Ralph muttered through gritted teeth, watching his hand get wrapped.

"Yeah, kid." Bill went back over to the counters and rummaged through a couple drawers, then came back with a few safety pins. He knelt next to him and tacked the loose end of the wrap, then glanced at Ralph, who was looking a bit pale now. "How do we do that, Ralph?" The younger man ran his good hand through his hair. Bill frowned. "I really hate it when you do that."

Ralph shook his head. "I only know of one way to leave. Last time, I told Mona to send me home."

"That does not make me feel better," Bill said, then sighed. "So we find her."

"Yeah," Ralph said, then let Bill help him up. They left the room and started down a hallway.

"Ralph, I got a question. That dame said that wearin' the suit here is pretty much the opposite, so you'd have its powers without it on, right?" Bill asked.

Ralph nodded. "Yes. That's part of how I got out of here last time."

"So can'tcha take the jammies _off_ again _now_?" Bill asked, as though it was the most obvious idea ever.

Ralph didn't voice a response, instead he used his good hand to undo the suit's belt first... but found it wouldn't come off. "Bill... I can't get the belt off."

"Well, maybe it's just stuck. You're workin' with one hand anyway," Bill said, folding his arms.

"Just don't offer to help," Ralph muttered, tugging at the belt again. He made a face, "Dammit!"

Bill made his usual aggravated noise. "Maybe we'll have better luck playing 'Lets Make A Deal'."

They continued down the hall until Ralph stopped suddenly. "Hold on, Bill..."

"What is it, kid?"

A few moments passed... then the floor began to tilt until it slid both of them into one of the rooms. Both hit the back wall of the room and everything leveled off once again, and the door to the room closed.

"I'd ask what _that_ was, but considering what we've been through already, there's no need," Bill said, then watched as Ralph knelt down and placed his left hand on the floor, feeling around. "Looking for a trap door, Ralph?"

"Wondering if we're going to be human popsicles or sauteed first..." Ralph commented.

Before Bill could reply, a low, steady hum began to sound in the room. He looked around for a speaker as Ralph stood again and followed suit. The volume of the hum was now beginning to increase. The hum was also becoming distorted, sounding more like noisy feedback. Bill put his hands over his ears. He glanced at Ralph, who had one covered, but couldn't do the same for the other ear because of his hand.

The sound changed pitch and became more piercing, causing Bill to wince, even with both ears covered. Ralph fell back against one wall, beginning to slump. He slid down the wall until he was seated on the floor, head back against the wall, looking dazed, but still conscious.

Then suddenly, the noise stopped. Bill warily took his hands away from his ears, then went to check on Ralph. As he neared, Ralph moved his head off the wall and gave it a shake.

"You okay, Ralph?" Bill asked, but didn't wait for a response. "This is ridiculous. I wonder if the little green guys had this in mind when they gave us the jammies for you to wear."

Ralph gave him a questioning look. Bill continued his tirade, but Ralph wasn't listening. All he could hear was a ringing in his ears. He knew Bill was speaking because he could see his mouth moving, but couldn't hear the words. Ralph looked up and saw Bill staring down at him. He went to respond, but found he couldn't hear himself...

"What was that, Ralph? I didn't hear that," Bill said.

'_What_?' Ralph mouthed.

"What'sa matter with you, kid? Cat got your tongue?" Bill asked, and Ralph returned the confused look again. Bill sighed. "No voice?"

Ralph's eyes widened slightly, understanding that, then gave a thoughtful look. He shook his head, then shrugged.

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?!" Bill said, becoming frustrated.

Ralph pointed to his left ear, then shook his head.

Bill paused, realization hitting him. "You can't hear me, can you, Ralph?" Receiving the confused look again, he sighed. "Not a lip reader, either, huh." He helped Ralph get up and watched the younger man try to say something. "You can't understand what I'm saying?"

Ralph frowned. He could pick out a word or two here and there, but couldn't get the gist of what Bill was trying to say.

Suddenly, the black smoke appeared, revealing Mona, who was smirking.

"You again," Bill said. She was really getting on his nerves. He pointed at Ralph. "Give the kid his hearing back and let us out of here!"

"But I am not yet finished with you," Mona said, folding her arms.

"You wanna make a bet?" Bill said, pushing his sleeves up.

Ralph's eyes widened at the motion Bill made. Bill moved to swing at her, but she disappeared, then reappeared farther away. She held a hand out and made a black ball of light appear in the palm, then sent it flying at Bill. Reflex made Bill put his arms up over his head, much like Ralph did when being shot at, but Bill never felt any impact. He lowered his arms and saw Ralph in front of him, arms out in front of him in a stop motion. Mona was now gone, Bill noticed as he walked around Ralph.

Ralph didn't move, didn't even blink. He just stared straight ahead.

"Kid? Ralph, blink if you're conscious in any way," Bill said. Receiving no response, he waved a hand in front of the blond's eyes. Still nothing, Bill groaned. "Great, you became a human statue and I gotta deal with the devil dame! Thanks alot, Ralph!"

------------------------------------------

Several minutes passed and Bill glanced up from where he sat against the wall again. As he thought, Ralph still remained in the same position, as still as a statue.

"Kid, why couldn't you just let me take the hit for a change? That's how you got in trouble before, remember? Those goons were shooting at us and you got in front of me and took the bullet. Then those little green guys drove us around in that overgrown hotdog wagon. You gotta stop doin' these things, Ralph. I'm an FBI agent, I can handle it." Bill paused, then sighed. "This stinks."

After a few moments, Ralph's right hand dropped just enough to be noticeable. Bill watched intently, waiting for another movement, or to find out he was seeing things. Ralph's hand moved again, moving closer to his chest. Then he doubled over, protecting the still injured hand.

"Kid, you're back!" Bill said, as he got up again. He went over and helped Ralph straighten, then moved him over to sit against the wall.

Ralph got situated against the wall and against noticed Bill's mouth moving, but he could still only hear the ringing. He was getting irritated by it, to say the least. Suddenly, Bill's hand moved too close by his face and Ralph grabbed Bill's wrist with his left hand. Ralph's eyes narrowed, then he frowned and let Bill's wrist go.

'_Sorry_,' Ralph mouthed.

Bill nodded his acceptance, rubbing at his wrist. "Me, too, kid." He paused, then said, slowly, "So, now what?"

Ralph shrugged. He was annoyed and his hand was throbbing. He leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. Then he mouthed, '_You try something. I've had enough._'

Bill glared at Ralph even though he couldn't see it since his eyes were closed. He was about to say something, but realized Ralph wouldn't even know it, so why waste his breath.

They had to get out of there and soon. Ralph was already looking like he was ready to give up. Bill, on the other hand, was not. Matter of fact, he was no where even remotely close to giving up.

Bill began to check out the walls, looking for anything he could "use." After almost searching one full wall, he found a false panel which hid a handle. He turned the handle and immediately heard a creaking sound. Smoke began entering the room.

The smoke had a sweet smell, Bill noticed. Ralph opened his eyes and sniffed the air. He made a face and stood, then went over to Bill. They watched the smoke as it enveloped them. Both had a sense of vertigo, the felt like they were falling.

They landed in a grassy field. It was bright and sunny.

Bill sat up. "Well, this doesn't look like Hell to me."

Ralph lifted his head and pulled the cape back so he could see. "Where are we?" he asked, muzzily.

"Kid! Can ya hear me?"

Ralph blinked, then realized. "Yeah, Bill, just fine. Man... what happened?"

"Maybe that was the release handle I found..." Bill said, then stood. "Wonder if we're back on earth."

"If we are, I have no idea _where_ we are," Ralph said, then shook his head. "I don't know, Bill. It couldn't be that easy."

"Try the suit out."

"I'll try flying. That won't hurt any more than the landings do." Ralph then took three running steps and jumped... the landed face down on the grass. "Ow..."

"Guess that's our answer. Must still be in Hell," Bill surmised.

"Damn," Ralph cursed, then got up. "I wonder what this place is, then."

"This is my back yard." Mona appeared in a puff of black smoke.

"I've had just about enough of you," Bill said, starting towards her.

"Bill!" Ralph called out.

Bill turned and found two men dressed in black, each holding on of Ralph's arms. He struggled, but, thanks to the reverse effect of the suit, to no avail.

Mona appeared next to Bill. "Watch."

The men dragged Ralph over to a platform and laid him on it. The platform sat atop metal legs and seemed to turn a bit while they began to strap Ralph down. He cried out when one of the men forced his right hand against the platform to get the strap around his wrist.

Bill tried to dart out to help Ralph, but he ran smack into something unseen and fell backwards onto the grass. "What the...?"

"Invisible wall," Mona answered.

Bill sat up, propped on his arms. He watched the two men step away from the platform, having strapped down Ralph's legs, also. They stopped at a small podium. One of them put a hand on a joystick type object and pulled it towards him.

Bill's eyes widened as he watched the platform begin to spin, picking up speed every revolution. He could hear Ralph yell out, at first calling for him and eventually becoming screams.

Bill got up and turned to face Mona, but found her gone. He tried moving ahead and found the wall gone. He ran to the podium as the two men disappeared. He pushed the joystick forward and watched the platform begin to slow. Once it had slowed considerably, Bill went over and stopped its motion himself.

Bill shook one of Ralph's shoulders. "Ralph, kid, can ya hear me? Groan or something if you can." He received no response and checked the younger man's vitals. Breathing and pulse were only a little more rapid than normal, which seemed odd considering what Ralph had just gone through, though Bill was thankful at any rate. He checked Ralph's eyes, but only saw the whites, meaning Ralph had passed out. Bill undid the straps, being careful of Ralph's right hand.

He picked up Ralph, one arm under his knees, the other under his underarms. Bill walked away from the platform, not really caring about the direction.

After around forty feet, Bill stopped. "Hey, devil woman! Listen, you want Ralph so badly, why don't you come here and take him from me!"

Within seconds, there was a familiar poof of black smoke. Mona smirked, arms folded. "How very interesting. You gave up quicker than I anticipated."

"I didn't say I gave up. Pardon the expression, but you've put this kid through Hell, and for what? Because you want him? So how come you don't just _take_ him? Or maybe you can't..."

Mona made a face. "What are you talking about?"

"I'd be willing to bet that he's too _good_ for you to take him, that's why you're messing with him, hoping he'll crack. Well, sorry, but you're dead wrong! I know Ralph too well. He will _not_ crack. Ever!"

Mona cried out as black smoke encircled her. At the same time, a white smoke enveloped Bill and Ralph...

------------------------------------------

Ralph flinched as he thought he felt rain drops falling on his face. His eyes blinked open and he saw the ceiling of his living room.

"How do you feel, hon?"

He turned his head and saw Pam sitting next to him. "Better. What happened?" He saw Pam look to her right and he saw Bill enter from the dining room.

"We made it back, kid," Bill replied.

Ralph sighed, then gave a small smile. "In one piece."

-End-


	5. Hotel California

**Hotel California (The Director's Cut)**

by Lauren

Ralph sighed, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. He was driving back from a weekend teachers' convention that'd proven itself to be quite boring. Though, he was glad to have gotten away from Bill and his scenarios. And not once during the weekend had he thought of Mona possibly appearing.

Ralph shook his head. "Great, I had to remember her."

It was late and the highway Ralph was on was almost desolate. The night air was cool after a relatively warm day, so he had his window rolled down. He still had another half day or so of driving left and decided it best to find a hotel for the night. Out of the darkness, a light ahead caught his attention. He noticed how the light practically shimmered.

Ralph squinted at the light. "Looks like it might be a beacon of some sort." He chuckled. "Or a lighthouse, but I think I'm a little too far inland for that."

As he neared, he realized it was indeed a hotel. "Finally." He pulled into the parking lot, parked, and cut the engine. Ralph felt so tired, all he wanted to do was check in and go to sleep. He glanced around the lot as he got out of the car. "Huh, not too many cars. Atleast I know there's a good chance of vacancies." He grabbed his bag from the back of the station wagon, hit the lock, and bumped the door closed with his hip.

Ralph made his way up the walk and noticed someone strike a match. "Must be the Concierge," he told himself, though he couldn't see their face and only a little of their clothing. Somewhere in the distance, he heard twelve chimes, signaling midnight. Despite the warm air, a cold breeze came through, chilling Ralph to the bone. He shuddered as he reached the steps where the person stood.

Ralph didn't get a good look at the person since it was so dark and the only light came the the match she held. He thought it looked as though they wore a black dress, tipping him off that it was a woman without hearing her speak. He still couldn't see her face.

She was standing in the doorway, a pair of glass double doors behind her. "Follow me, please."

Another chill ran through Ralph, as they passed through the double doors. He could've sworn he'd heard that voice before, but she hadn't spoken enough for him to pick it out. His better judgement started screaming for him to turn around and leave, but he suddenly felt so tired that he really didn't want to make the effort of finding another hotel this late at night.

_This late_, he thought. He wasn't sure now what'd kept him on the road for so long... other than that it seemed as though every hotel he passed had no vacancies. Then again, he was no stranger to sleeping in his car, either.

Ralph found the hallway dark, just as dark as it was outside. An eerie feeling crept over him. He shook his head and told himself he was making it up. That is, until he heard voices coming from down the hall, though he couldn't make out what they were saying. He gulped.

The woman stopped in front of a doorway.

Ralph, however, was lost in thought and ended up walking into her. "I'm so sorry!" Being that close, he still couldn't see her face. The shadows fell over her just so that no matter where she held the match, her face remained in darkness.

The woman said nothing. Instead, she opened the door she stood next to and pointed in that direction.

Ralph, again against his better judgement, stepped through the door. Moonlight shown over the greenery. It took a moment for his brain to register that the room was a greenhouse.

The room was large, and in the center was a courtyard. Ralph walked along the pathway to get a closer look. He found a group of people dancing... all men. He did a double-take upon seeing the woman who'd led him to the room already in the courtyard dancing.

"This is weird," Ralph muttered to himself. He turned to head back up the path and nearly ran into a man who seemed to have suddenly appeared behind him. In the dark, Ralph didn't have a good look at the man's face, either. Ralph grinned. "So, uh, do you have any wine here?"

The man shook his head. Then Ralph thought he heard the voices again, slightly louder this time, but still undecipherable.

The man reached out and took Ralph's hand. Ralph jumped at the touch... and realized he couldn't pull away. The man pulled him out of the greenhouse, back into the hallway, Ralph struggling the entire time, and past a few doors, before stopping at one and opening it. He shoved Ralph in and followed, closing the door after him, while Ralph stumbled to the floor.

A dim light shown in the room. Ralph, sprawled on the floor, looked up. He was at the foot of a bed adorned in dark sheets. He started to get up, but was then picked up, and he realized the man was still there. He pushed Ralph over, causing the blond to flop onto the bed. Ralph rolled over and, before sitting up, saw the mirror on the ceiling.

Ralph's heart was pounding in his chest. He had no idea of what was going on, or why. He did know that he didn't like the way it was going. Sitting up, he finally got a good look at the man's face. It was his own face, but the curly hair was longer and jet black.

"It's you!" Ralph gasped, remembering the twin who'd broken his hand a few months back.

The twin smirked. "We have champagne," he spoke.

Ralph gulped. How he wished he had the suit, then maybe he wouldn't be in this predicament. He pushed back on the bed farther, trying to get away in anyway possible. His eyes widened as the man walked around the bed, moving closer to him. Ralph rolled away, but didn't move quick enough. His twin grabbed him under his arms and pulled him back.

The twin pushed him down, flat on his back, then swung his leg over, straddling Ralph.

Ralph put his hands up and gripped the twin's shoulders, trying to push him away. "Hey! I don't know what you're doing...!"

The twin easily removed Ralph's hands from his shoulders and pushed them down to rest on the bed. He sneered. "Call me Alex."

Ralph gulped. "Alex," he repeated, his voice shaking. "What are you... _doing_?"

"Having fun," Alex responded easily. He smirked, then leaned down and kissed Ralph fully on the lips.

----------------

The main hall was made up for a great feast. Many tables adorned the room, as well as guests. Silver serving trays were set up around the room. People began to sit as a pair walked through a set of double doors.

Ralph's head was spinning. Alex helped him remain standing.

The twin wore an evil smirk as he helped Ralph sit at a nearby table. The woman who'd brought Ralph in walked up to them. She motioned to Alex and he nodded. She walked away. Ralph watched her walk away, trying to remember where he'd seen her before. He shook his head trying to clear it and focus.

Alex put a hand on Ralph's thigh and leaned closer. "The feast is beginning."

"Feast?" Ralph asked, wearily. He knew he wasn't hungry, but had no energy to argue. He watched hazily as everyone was seated and the trays were uncovered. Each tray seemed to have one form or another of some type of dead animal.

Ralph could tell what each animal was. His stomach turned and he gagged at the sight. Then a shout caught his attention. He turned his head and watched as two people chased after an animal.

A black and white creature ran across the floor. A woman said that whatever it was, it looked like it had a white goatee. The man next to her asked, "Was that a black cat? Or a tuxedo?"

Ralph would've atleast grinned at the humor if his stomach hadn't been doing backflips. He felt ill. Images of the dead animals flashed through his mind... as well as the returning memory of what Alex had done to and with him. The images floated through his mind, taunting him. That's when he remembered the woman.

"Mona!" He jumped up and ran for the double doors, Alex following. He skidded just outside them and ran back down the hall. Reaching the end, Ralph found a man in a suit who looked oddly enough like a valet. "How do I get out of here?" Ralph asked, his voice weak.

"Relax," he began, "you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

"Don't let him leave!" Alex called out, running towards them.

Ralph's jaw hung open. _No_! his brain screamed. He pushed around the suited man and ran down the hallway he'd come in through. He spotted the main entrance and ran as fast as he could. All that blocked his way were the glass double doors. He knew this was going to hurt and leave a mark.

Ralph put his arms over his face and crashed through the glass doors, shattering them. He kept running and finally reached the station wagon. He jumped in and peeled out as fast as the car would allow, burning some rubber. Within seconds, the hotel was left in the dust.

Alex came to a stop in the busted doorway and slammed a fist into the wall. He was fuming. "Dammit! He was the best I've had in decades!" He kept grousing as he turned and headed back down the hallway to tell Mona the bad news.

Ralph sighed, finally relaxing a bit. He hit the radio dial and a song came on.

_Welcome to the hotel california_

_Such a lovely place_

_Such a lovely face_

_Plenty of room at the hotel california_

_Any time of year, you can find it here_

Ralph hit the radio dial again, turning the radio off. He gave a yelp and pulled the wagon abruptly to the side of the road. He sat back in the seat, breathing heavily.

Ralph knew he hadn't been broken, but he felt like he'd cracked a fair amount from that experience. Warily, he started back onto the road and decided to make the entire rest of the drive home. There was no way that he was stopping again.

-End-


	6. Mall Madness

**Mall Madness**

Ralph walked into the kitchen, holding a newspaper and reading. He sat down at the table and, while still reading, reached for the cup of coffee. He took a sip and made a face, finally breaking his reading.

"I really need to remember to ask Pam to make a full pot of coffee on her early mornings. This is just awful," Ralph said, pulling the cup back down. He went back to the article.

"Hey, Ralph?"

"In the kitchen, Bill," he replied.

Bill entered the kitchen and found Ralph still engrossed in the article. "What's so interesting, kid?"

Ralph tapped the article. "They're finally going to tear down the old mall this afternoon."

"After how long?" Bill scoffed. "Thing's been an eye sore for years."

Out of habit, Ralph scratched at his head with his wrapped up hand while reading, "Says they'll be using three hundred sticks of dynamite to demolish it, one hundred per floor and spread out over the entire building to make sure it won't be canceled."

"How's that feeling, anyway?" Bill asked.

"Huh?" Ralph asked, looking up at Bill confused.

Bill rolled his eyes. "Your hand."

Ralph flinched, then shrugged. "It's getting there." He paused, then added, irritably, "It would've healed by now if it didn't keep getting re-broken every few weeks."

"Geez, don't bite my head off, Ralph. It was just a question."

The blond sighed. "I'm sorry, Bill. It's just... it isn't like I could even go to a psychiatrist about what I've been through. I'd get thrown into a rubber room faster than I almost was when I first got the suit."

"How much have you told the Counselor?"

Ralph's response was looking away. "Some."

"Ralph! How do ya expect to feel better if you can't even talk to your own wife about it?" Bill said.

Ralph hated to admit it... but Bill actually made sense, but he still didn't make eye contact again yet. "I never told you what happened on my way back from the convention."

"Yeah, you made record time and crashed into bed and wouldn't come out for a couple days after. You said you were sick."

"Yes and no." Ralph finally turned back to Bill and shook his head. "I can't talk about this now. I have to be at the school in half an hour--"

"What happened, Ralph?"

The blond sighed. "You won't let this go, will you?"

"Not until you tell me."

Ralph's gaze turned to the ceiling. "Remember Mona's friend that looks just like me?"

"Yeah. So?"

Ralph looked at Bill again. "Lets just say he has a very unhealthy interest in men."

"What...?" Bill began, then his eyes widened. His mouth opened and closed several times, but he didn't get anything out.

"I'm not saying any more, Bill, I've got work in under half an hour!"

"But, kid, he... did... with you?" Bill was sputtering.

Ralph wished he hadn't turned this conversation in this particular direction. He refolded the newspaper and got up. And just as he'd figured, Bill followed him, sputtering all the way.

---------------

Study hall. Oh, how Ralph typically hated this particular portion of the day. The students would be throwing spitwads, paper airplanes... and anything else they could get their hands on. No matter how much Ralph thought he got through to these kids, it always seemed to fly out the window.

However, this particular morning was one of the occasional few in which he didn't have to watch a class and could actually get some work done.

Of course, that wasn't accounting for any hair brained scenario from Bill.

Ralph put his pencil down and wiggled his fingers, working out the cramp in his still aching hand. At least now he could write with it again. Though, he had to admit, his left-handed writing was getting better.

He began to look around the classroom. Something seemed... off. Like the hairs on the back of his neck standing on end. Ralph scratched at his chest and his breathing hitched.

"Oh no..." He waited for the impending appearance.

Then Ralph noticed a paper airplane flying towards him. It crashed to the floor next to his desk. Warily, he leaned over and picked it up. Straightening in his chair, Ralph unfolded the airplane and found a message written inside:

_My Dear Ralph:_

_I suppose you are unaware of my side business: I deal in realty. The art of buying and selling buildings and land. I have great interest in businesses geared toward the future._

_I also have great interest in buildings that no one wishes to use further. This is why I have an interest in the mall that will be demolished this afternoon._

_You will be there, Ralph._

_You are my guest of honor. To make sure you make your appearance, I have invited two of your friends to appear as well._

_Your friends are here waiting._

_Please make an appearance. Otherwise, I get to keep your friends. However, should you appear, Dearest, if you fail in rescuing them, YOU will be mine._

_Ta ta,_

_Mona_

He crumpled the paper into a ball and threw it across the room. It disappeared half way across. Ralph was seething. It was one thing when she was picking on only him. Then she had to go and drag Bill into it. Bill... he could handle himself. Now, she had Pam, too?

Ralph was glad he'd brought the suit with him to school. He hurriedly picked up his things and left the classroom. He only stopped by the office long enough to let them know that he was going home sick.

He quickly made his way out of the school and ran across the parking lot to the station wagon. Ralph threw his things in the back, except the bag with the suit.

He pulled the wagon out of the parking spot and burned a bit of rubber leaving.

It took less than ten minutes to get to the old mall. Ralph parked the wagon and climbed into the back to change into the suit.

---------------

Ralph used his invisibility to get past the workers outside the mall. Once inside, he became visible and glanced around. The mall itself had once been a beautiful building. Three stories, elevator, fountains... a huge fountain in the middle of the building.

At any rate, Ralph was _not_ in the mood to play games. "Mona! Where are you?!" He waited for some type of response, but all was quiet. "Alex! I know at least one of you has to be here! Show yourself!"

"You made it in record time. Pity Mona has other business to attend to at the moment, but she promised she would be here in a little while."

Ralph spun around and found Alex leaning against one of the shops' door frame. "Where are they?" Ralph ground out.

Alex stepped out of the door and held two items: a suit jacket and a fashion scarf. "Perhaps you can see for yourself."

Ralph snatched the items away from the evil twin and tried to vibe in on the jacket first. Try as he did, no holograph came from the jacket. He dropped the jacket and scrunched the scarf in both hands. "So help me..." Just as with the jacket, Ralph got no holograph from the scarf. He bowed his head, scarf still in his hands. When Ralph looked up again, he was shaking with anger. "You son of a--"

"Hit a nerve, did we?" Alex asked, carelessly.

At first, Ralph seemed to ignore the rhetorical question as he wrapped the scarf around a portion of the suit's belt. Once it was tied in place, Ralph used his speed and moved right in front of Alex, holding the lapels of the black suit jacket he wore. "What's the game?" Ralph asked through clenched teeth.

"It's simple, really. All you have to do is find them before the mall is demolished. Of course, there are some... modifications we've made to various parts of the building, but you'll figure those out as you find them." Alex grinned. "You've got two hours before this place becomes a pile of rubble, I'd suggest you get going, or else they're goners and you belong to Mona."

As Alex continued to grin in his face, Ralph felt something inside snap. He was absolutely infuriated. He lifted Alex up off the ground, finally removing the grin from the devil's face. Ralph began to spin around, faster and faster, until he came to a sudden stop and flung the devil about two hundred feet down the mall corridor, slamming him into a large, thick beam. Alex slid to the ground out cold. Ralph brushed his hands off and felt just a little bit better.

Ralph decided to start with the high road and headed for the third floor. He took three running steps and launched himself. In an attempted landing, he lost his footing and slipped, sliding into the wall. The force left an indentation in the wall.

Ralph got up and shook his head, clearing the cobwebs. "No time for grace," he commented to himself. He checked his watch. Two hours. The detonation was set for one o'clock. He began down the corridor and peeked in the first doorway. He frowned seeing how dark it was inside, considering it was bright in the corridor due to the skylights.

"Pam? Bill?" he asked, leaning into the doorway. He paused and heard a creaking sound. He looked up and barely had enough time to cover his head with the cape when a large lead pipe swung down, aimed straight for his head. The pipe made contact with the cape and set off a reverberation heard all through the mall. The contact sent Ralph to the ground, still conscious. He groaned and looked around for the pipe.

Ralph blinked, seeing the former store he was in was now as brightly lit as the rest of the corridor and that there was no lead pipe in sight. He got up and brushed himself off, then rubbed at his head where the pipe made contact. He winced, then muttered, "That'll be tender for a while."

Ralph walked out of the former store, seeing as it was smaller and there wasn't much to search through, and headed for the next one. He stepped inside and glanced around. Empty shelving was scattered throughout, along with several broken down cardboard boxes. "Hello?" he called out.

At the shelves, unbeknownst to Ralph, the remaining screws began to undo themselves and float in the air, until there were several hundred. Ralph turned around to leave and was hit by a barrage of screws pelting him. They kept coming and started backing up Ralph until he hit the back wall. He put his hands up, trying to stop them. He could feel hundreds of little welts forming on his skin from the hits. Worse, his previously injured hand was stinging something fierce.

Ralph was thankful he had the suit, he just wished that the devils didn't play slightly above the suit's boundaries of protection. He undid the button on the cape and pulled it around in front of him. Spreading it in front of him, Ralph used it as a shield, pushing his way toward the front of the store, fending off the still flying screws.

He reached the doorway and the screws stopped so suddenly, that Ralph's momentum sent him into the rail and flipped him over it. He managed to grip it, while the cape floated back down to the first floor. Despite hanging over a three floor drop, he was sure it would really hurt. Knowing the devils, it'd probably feel like thirty floors, even with the suit. He sighed and shook his head. "Why me?"

Ralph climbed back up and over the railing, then leaned over it, looking down for his cape. He spotted it and decided to just use the telekinesis to bring it back up to him, rather than actually physically going after it. Concentrating, the cape began to float and rise in the air. It finally reached arm's length and Ralph grabbed it, then buttoned it around his neck once again.

He turned to start down the corridor again and missed several floating spears that seemed to have followed his cape. The spears followed Ralph slowly. Getting a strange feeling, he stopped and slowly turned around. His eyes widened at the sight of the spears. "Oh shi--" His expletive was cut off by the spears flying at him one at a time.

Ralph ducked the first, then began to twist and turn, dodging the next few. He jumped another, then the spears began coming from both in front of and behind him. He managed to dodge several of them, but then one grazed his shoulder. The suit remained in tact, but Ralph could feel the cut. He cried out in pain and grasped the shoulder.

He felt the sticky blood on his fingers, despite the suit covering the wound. Ralph dove away from the spears, landing inside the doorway of what appeared to be a maintenance room. He righted himself, sitting against a wall, and brought his right hand away from his injured left shoulder. He frowned at the blood on his fingers... along with the tingling he felt from the same hand. Ralph wasn't sure when the wrap had fallen off his hand. It didn't matter when, just that it had.

This was a great day. His wife and best friend had been kidnapped by a couple of devils. His head throbbed. His shoulder was bleeding. And his hand STILL ached something awful. At least Ralph finally had a bit of a breather. He let out a sigh. That's when he thought he smelled something... followed by a clang. He turned a glanced to the doorway and found the big, metal door closed.

He got up and went to the door and tried prying it open, but between the shoulder and hand injuries, he had little oomph behind his effort. Then he caught the smell again.

Ralph's eyes widened again. "Gas!" He backed up and ran full force into the door. He bounced off it and landed hard on the floor, jarring his shoulder. He cringed. Worse, he was starting to feel sluggish. He had to think... how was he going to get out of this?

---------------

Mona appeared in a puff of black smoke. She smirked at the small pool in front of her. Suddenly, an alligator surfaced and opened its large mouth.

"Soon, my dears. I know you are hungry," Mona said. She looked up at the man and woman dangling over the pool. Both were unconscious and looked rather familiar. Mona grinned and left the second floor store, which had been modified with said pool and gators. "Lets see how my dearest Ralph is doing with our little surprises greeting him on his journey to save his friends."

A black haze appeared in front of Mona and she had a visual of the outside of the store that Ralph was trapped in. She continued to grin... until a large explosion blew off the door to the store. Black smoke billowed from inside. Ralph stumbled out, coughing. He fell to his knees outside the doorway, hacking from breathing in the smoke and the gas fumes.

"I don't know how he does it..." Alex complained, entering the room, holding his head and looking worse for the wear.

"Dammit!" Mona cursed, fuming.

---------------

Ralph tried desperately to get air into his lungs, but he just kept coughing. He doubled over from the force of the coughs and ended up doing a couple dry heaves. He was thankful he hadn't had lunch, at least. He concentrated on the coughs and replacing them with good air in his lungs. It took a few minutes, but he was finally composed enough to continue on.

He made it to his feet, albeit a little shaky. He stretched out his left arm, cringing because of the shoulder, but used the hand to hold the wall, keeping himself upright. Ralph felt absolutely terrible. He had to keep moving. He had to find Pam and Bill, or else...

He shuddered at the thought. There was no way the devils would win as long as he was still breathing.

At least he'd managed to break out of the maintenance room. Turned out, there had been a welding tank and torch in the corner of the room, so he set off the torch. It was only a matter of moments before the whole thing exploded, blasting the door open. Ralph had had just enough time to curl up near the door and throw the cape over his head.

Ralph moved along slowly and spotted something that made him smile: a fountain. Now he could wash up, at least. He walked up to it and leaned over. Then he thought he smelled something odd. He glanced around and found a pipe lying on the floor nearby. He grabbed it and dipped it into the fountain. When he pulled it back out, the pipe was only half as long. "Acid..."

Just then, the 'water' that had been spouting from the top of the fountain become more forceful and started raining down on him. Ralph flipped the cape over his head again, covering his face. He could hear the fizzling of the acid hitting the material. He started moving as quickly as he could away from it.

Once Ralph no longer heard the fizzling, he flipped the cape off his head and found himself at the beginning of what seemed to be a maze in one of the stores. The shelves looked to have been rearranged and the door behind him locked tight. He started walking through the maze, turning left and right. After several minutes, he'd ended up at the beginning again.

This time, he spotted a sign at the other end of the store, blinking brightly "Exit." Ralph was fuming. He covered his head with the cape once again and ran for all he was worth, crashing through well over a dozen shelves and finally the door at the end. The force landed Ralph face down on the floor. As he pushed up onto his elbows, one arm brushing the scarf still tucked around his belt, a holograph came into view finally. In it, he saw the small pool with the gators... along with a familiar pair dangling above it.

"Pam! Bill!" He watched as Pam seemed to be clearing her head and then turn wide-eyed seeing where they were. Then the holograph faded. Ralph thought he recognized what was left of the original store and knew he was nearby. He just had a pet store and the food court to get past now.

Ralph got up and turned to walk past the pet store... and found a dozen cobras blocking his way. "Oh great..." He glanced around and found just what he was looking for. Ralph back up slowly and grabbed the fire extinguisher from where it hung on the wall. He opened it up and took aim. "I hate snakes!" He gave the cobras a full blast of CO2. When he stopped, the dozen snakes were frosted and knocked out.

Ralph sighed and, hanging onto the extinguisher, moved carefully past the snoozing cobras and made it into the food court. There had been restaurants on both sides... which would explain why flames and flying ice were being flung across the way, blocking Ralph's exit. He knew there wasn't enough left in the extinguisher to help... but he had another other idea. Preparing to duck and cover his head yet again, Ralph heaved the extinguisher into the food court, as close to the middle as he could. Hitting the flames, it exploded and caused a chain reaction.

Ralph could feel the flames licking at him, along with debris falling all around. It took several minutes before all was quiet and Ralph dared to take a peek. He found what was left of the food court, which was now charred from the fire. Smoke floated heavily through the air, so Ralph put the cape up over his mouth and nose as he walked through the mess.

He finally reached where Pam and Bill were. As soon as Ralph stepped into the store, the lights began blinking brightly and quickly in a strobe affect. He put his arms up to try to block the light, but came from all directions. Ralph staggered his way through, becoming dizzier and dizzier. Getting through a doorway, he dropped to his knees, shaking.

"I don't believe it..."

"My dearest, Ralph, you have decided to join us!"

Still shaking, Ralph looked up and found Alex and Mona standing on the other side of the small pool. "You'll... have... to... try... harder... next... time..." Pushing himself off the floor, he continued, "Now... let Pam... and Bill... go..."

"I could let them drop..." Mona began, as the gators surfaced, "but I do not think you would appreciate that very much." She reached for a lever...

"No!" Ralph yelled, took three running steps and took off, as Mona pulled the lever. Pam and Bill began to fall, but Ralph caught them as he flew by. He crashed on the other side, taking the brunt of the blow by shifting the still tied up pair to land on him.

Pam tried turning to see Ralph. "Ralph! Ralph, are you okay?"

"What's with all the yelling? Tryin' to sleep here..." Bill muttered, no clue of what's going on.

Ralph, who obviously looked like he had better days, moved out from under them. "I'll be... right back..." He got to his feet and walked over to where the devils were. Meanwhile, Pam worked on waking up Bill.

"I do not know how you made it through all of my traps, dearest," Mona said, shaking her head. "You have won for now, but I will be back." With that, she disappeared in black smoke.

Alex walked up to Ralph. "And so will I." And he, too, disappeared in black smoke.

Once both devils were gone, the building began shifting back to its original run-down form.

Ralph returned to Pam and Bill and untied them. "We need to get out of here quick! They'll be tearing this place down any time now!" Freed, the trio ran out a nearby exit door and ran to where Ralph had left the station wagon.

Pam climbed in to drive, while Bill took the passenger side, and Ralph sprawled himself over the back seat. Pam peeled the car out and none of them looked back.

---------------

That evening, Bill stood in front of the tv, watching the news. Most of the half hour consisted of video of the mall being torn down. And every so often, the newscaster's voice would be drowned out by Ralph's hissing from the kitchen.

"Sorry, hon," Pam apologized as Ralph grit his teeth. She dabbed the clothed along Ralph's shoulder wound carefully, allowing the alcohol to do it's job.

"It's okay, Pam. Doesn't hurt nearly as bad as receiving the injuries," Ralph said, as Bill entered the room.

"Well, that place is just a pile of rubble now," Bill said.

"Good," Ralph said, wincing. He paused, then said, "I wish I could figure out how to rid us of those devils. They've gotten to be a real nuisance."

"We'll figure out a scenario, kid," Bill said, positively.

Ralph, on the other hand, frowned. He wasn't so sure...

**The End**


End file.
